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/j/ - Janitor & Moderator Discussion

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Have you finished that report queue?
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Nope, but I'm trying.
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I'M TRYING OKAY
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Don't worry, I already cleared all of the reports swaggy.
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I came here to chew hotpockets and stare helplessly as my queue grows faster than I can clear reports... And I'm all outta hotpockets!
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I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit.
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What an interesting question being posed here. But to answer it, of course, we must first dissect said question and discover its true intent.

Firstly, are we truly ever able to finish the report queue? What defines "finished" in this particular instance? The roughly thirty seconds of solace that you receive as you solemnly stare off into the distance after viewing "Nothing found" on your monitor? The same monitor that illuminates the otherwise pitch-black void of your room as you squint to make sense of the words appearing on the screen during another late-night session of procrastination. Why was it that you waited until now to work on that particular thing which is nearing its deadline? "Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to check on the queue again", you think to yourself as you leave the current browser tab. It's been a couple minutes, after all. Oh, look, the number has risen from zero to a plentiful 11 reports! But why were these posts reported? They're innocuous enough and aren't breaking any particular established rules. Time for a mass clearing.

How can one be finished with a task that constantly replenishes itself? Day in and day out, you sit in eerie thoughtlessness as the ticker on the Janitor Tools window slowly stacks back up on itself. It's almost as if it's doing it in an effort to mock you. But that would be absurd.

The report queue is an autonomous machine. A silent, watchful creature that anchors itself to the corner of your browser as you peruse the website. It feasts off your torment as you strive to purge shitposts and maintain a chaos-free board. It knows. You know. You do this for free, mind you! Completely, utterly free. Concierges sans salaire.

No. No, I'm not finished with that report queue. And neither are you.
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>>4997
FAGGOT
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>>4997
Nigga you aren't on livejournal or fanfiction.net
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I'm sorry.
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>>5000
OH DANG!
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>>5000
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>>5000
impressive
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>>5000
Sorry for what?

Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our gets.
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>>5000
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>>5000
That's numberwang!
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>>5006
Your daddy gave you good advice.

Btw - check 'em
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>tfw I'll never gets dubs on /j/
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>>5022
Wew lad
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>>5000
You and I both know you aren't genuinely sorry for those numbers, however.



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