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File: 1437004729474.jpg (239.79 KB, 1152x720, 8:5, alone_in_the_universe-wall….jpg)

 No.46808

Why am I so lonely in this world? What have I even done to deserve this? Friends usually end up abandoning me pretty quickly, girls literally show no interest in me beyond talking/being a friend. Im not ugly. Iv posted a pic of me before and people on r9k said I looked alright (though I am a curryskin). But I feel that people really think Im ugly. I dont have a shitty personality either, im nice to everyone I meet, but I still get an alien look from everyone I see anywhere. Also my life is shit, no matter what I do about it.

I thought maybe the Jews are to blame for this, but they cant be the cause of my loneliness. But I began looking into Gnosticism and the idea that this cosmos was created by an evil god made so much sense to me. The Demiurge was to blame I thought. But he only molded the universe, he still cant be the one to blame for me feeling out of place. I also realized the Demiurge also appears in other thoughts as well, such as Platonism, and Neoplatonism. I thought maybe the spiritual world is the place for me, but I cant even astral project at all. I cant seem to concentrate or clear my mind enough for anything to happen while I lay. I feel as though even the astral/Monad rejects me. Yet I see normalfags everywhere talking about how they can astral project and shit all the time online, meanwhile im rejected from it. What the fuck did I do?

But if I can slay and replace the Demiurge and the Monad with me. Then I can create a Universe exactly the way I would want. And I would mold people to be exactly the way I would want. It sounds retarded as fuck, the thought that I can slay a demigod and the true divine being and become a god myself. But since reading the Kyballion and Arcane teachings, I kind of see that nothing should be impossible. Alot of the things in these books really makes sense to me, even when I read them for the first time, of course not everything does, but I feel alot of this clicks. But of course anybody knows how to slay gods. Well of course there is also suicide, but for some reason I cant bring myself to do it.

Anyways sorry for writing a book here. TLDR: I want to kill the Demiurge and the Monad, take their place and create a universe and people the way I would like. So lets discuss God Killing and becoming God, I want to here what you guys have to say about this.

 No.46810

dank pepe. Read RAW's Prometheus Rising and do some of the exercizes.

https://www.4shared.com/document/hI_2mAND/Prometheus_Rising.html

Taken in a metaphorical sense, the demiurge is the superego imposing its "will" onto your experience of reality. It's a dualistic illusion created by the separation of perception from reality. If you don't take control of your world, the demiurge will do it for you.

Master your inner realm, like a candle light slowly becoming brighter in the darkness. become more and more conscious and you will be master of your experience of the outer realm. You essentially become a "God" (whatever that means) and begin to supplant the demiurge. If/when you progress into high magick you can probably do crazier shit.

But first things first: If you think you are ugly, people will think you are ugly.

If you think you are a handsome and likable person, people will approach you that way. It sounds like from your poor self talk that you have some work to do.

Mastering your inner realm will help shape your experience of the outer realm. this is also basic Kybalion shit. All is mental. read that one if you haven't. and go do more normie things.

also, did you stop fapping? go to renouncing lust thread. even just reducing your fapping frequency will help your studies.


 No.46812

>>46810

first off, thank you for this response. But I dont think I look ugly. As a matter of fact I think I was handsome since a child, and I still think I look good even now, but the way people look at me makes me think I might be.

Also yes I did read All is mental part from Kybalion.

No I still fap, alot. But I dont want to renounce lust as I would like to get laid sometime, so it seems pointless. Lastly, what do you mean by "normie things"? Like partying and going to bars? I hate that shit.


 No.46815

>>46808

>curry nig

RED ALERT!

RED ALERT!

I suggest you go back to India ASAP and learn to live in peace with your kind in your homeland, yes true bliss awaits. Maybe you will learn to espouse the excellence of the caste system. Yes, yes!

That's really my entire advice to you because you toss around important terms like a monkey flings poo. So, no… Perhaps you could fight off the archontic infection if you even realize that is what you are referring to.


 No.46817

>>46812

you don't have to renounce lust in the sense of never getting laid, just look into tantric and taoist approaches to sexuality.

and by normie things you don't have to party or go to bars, that's bullshit. I mean not shitposting all the time or whatever. it's good to find and learn other things, you can use the computer as a tool to learn to play a musical instrument, draw or create something really. hang out with friends or meet new ones. through those activities you can meet people and women and such. technically those aren't normie things since most normies don't even do those things. they're too busy working and buying shit they don't need.

my opinion is that the prerequisite is to quit fapping or reduce the frequency to 1x per week as per Taoist teachings. Whenevr you're ready you'll get it. the first two or three days are toughest if you go from a daily frequent habit but if you power through it you'll be fine. it's all smooth sailing after that.

When you fap a lot, it does a lot of things to your body. the nervous systems are interconnected, and overstimulating your sexuality basically signals your body that it has achieved its goal of reproduction, and like a flower it withers up instead of blooming. like a steel mill pumping out testosterone instead of steel, when you rub it out the factory says "okay boys, time to go home early, our work is done!"

testosterone is the source of creation in the male. if you stop testosterone, you stop the power to create your own world, your generative and re-generative power. This is why God rested after the 7th day, he basically ejaculated everything he created. Funny enough this is literally what an Egyptian god did.

I can tell you that before I quit my once a day habit years ago, I used to find it hard to make eye contact with people, especially women, I always felt so tired and depressed and let negative thoughts invade my mind, and never really felt motivated to do much. I wanted to do a lot of things, but I never found the drive. Then when I quit I had no choice but to do everything that I wanted to do otherwise I would be painfully bored. after I quit for a week or two, people said I looked taller, my eyes looked brighter, and I had a lot more vitality. maybe it was coincidence?

it was easier to find the energy to converse with people, and I noticed all the girls who were making eye contact with me that I never noticed before. For some reason it was really easy to hold eye contact in a non-creepy way. I think you stand out more too as most everyone else is chronically fapping you will appear different. Positive thoughts became easier, and the things I want to manifest seem a lot easier to manifest when I quit that habit. so that's why I think it's a prerequisite.

best of luck


 No.46825

>>46817

Sweet then Ill look into this. I usually fap 2-3 times a day but Ill try to quit now. It will be hard as fuck though


 No.46827

>>46808

Immerse yourself in the works of dr alim bey + brother panic ( occult lectures ) + mantak chia on youtube – go vegan and research more on it - do yoga and work out - check out Elliot hulse…

in 2015 the internet has the complete guide to immortality and ascension scattered across…


 No.46828

>>46808

also you need you so mooji nigga or some deep work or some weed and shrooms, YOU ARE I AM every entity is you.. the demiurp you say, the creator, the zero, everything, your ass is even that rock you kicked this matinee.


 No.46939


 No.46979

File: 1437135335860.pdf (5.52 MB, 76381810-Egyptian-Yoga-Vol….pdf)

>>46828

do you have the rest, nigga?


 No.47112

>>46817

hey i'm just gonna steal op's thread for a second because i have a similar problem… the point is i'm unhappy with myself too, but i somehow "transformed" lol

so i read arcane formulas and teachings and i think i managed to deattach myself from the thoughts/mind/personality (ego) but i was also using the mind in a very nice way, everything was nice for me and like i felt like i was a kid again and i even had the need to listen to the same uplifting music i listened to as a kid

now here's the thing, before this period of "being transformed" i was fapping everyday, but when i popped into the wanted state i didn't even feel the need to fap, i was playing vidya chatting with people having fun idk what, but suddenly now when i'm fucked up again i felt the need to fap and i did so

this kinda makes me believe that fapping is not the thing that causes the problem, it's the thing causing the fapping that is the initial problem




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