I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life and I feel lost. About to go crazy.
As my contract is about to finish and I analyse what should I do next, I keep arriving at the same point.
There are billions being thrown around left and right purposelessly and I am stuck here with a vision, which is a result of a diligent, honest work, with which I can't do anything with, becasue it is too abstract to commercialize in the next 7 years.
1. I cannot just stop working, becasue I need money to eat.
2. I cannot go to work, becasue the stiff hierarchic structure does not allow strive for your vision. If I am to be honest, I will just get fired.
3. I can continue my research, but academia is just a circlejerk of connections
4. I can find some foundation to work on it, but I need money.
5. Investors have money, but they don't care about anything beyond that.
6. There are various insitutional funding opportunities, but they hire morons who can barely interpret their guidelines, let alone see the horizon. Taxpayer money being thrown into the trash.
7. I am not sure if I shouldn't just destroy my notes, becasue this research can be misused in the future, but then I'm back at point 1. But the fact that my publication has been rejected 3rd time suggests maybe it shouldn't be published.
So, you've got money, vision and brain. All are needed, but there always one missing.
Does it make sense?