/fringe/ - Fringe

>>104891

Suffice to say I was rattled by the experience for a long time, during which I seriously reconsidered my use of mushrooms. I also started making big strides in my meditation practices, coming to fully grasp the concept of "no-mind" and becoming capable of easily dropping into it. I resolved to treat them with more respect, as more of a sacrament to be used to delve into the nature of reality rather than a recreational drug. In hindsight I should have applied that lesson more generally, because I soon ended up experimenting with LSD instead. Not many times, actually, and in relatively small doses, but apparently this was unwise.

Everything up until this point has been pretty much your run of the mill "tripper adventures". Here's where things started becoming a real problem.

During one trip I spontaneously started experiencing pain. Radiating from my shoulder, as if I had injured something, but spreading throughout my whole body. Sapping my energy, too. As if I had been injected with a poison. I tried to ignore it, but it made the trip quite uncomfortable. More concerning was the fact that it didn't go away after the trip. I figured I must have actually injured myself… but the pain was generalized in nature rather than specific to any one area of the body - despite having started at the shoulder. And the fatigue was unusual. Sleep became unrefreshing. My thoughts became hazy. My memory worsened.

This was… 6 years ago. The pain, fatigue, and mental haze never went away. After over a year searching for a medical reason for my symptoms and having all sorts of tests come back normal, I was given a "we don't actually know what the fuck is going on with you" diagnosis of "fibromyalgia". I'll skip over the bullshit I endured to get to that stage - the problems with how patients with poorly understood illnesses are dealt with are not the purpose of this post. This condition can't be tested for as of yet, but it's theorized to involve some combination of hypersensitivity of the central nervous system, disruptions in the brain's serotonergic system, and anomalies in blood flow regulation.

Since these health problems started I started studying Chinese medicine, finding its diagnostic system and treatment approach much more suitable for actually coming to some understanding my condition on some level. I can't tolerate acupuncture well, so I'm focusing on herbal medicine. I've learned much about western medical science, biology, and anatomy in the process, too. On the side, I started researching and learning about the traditional uses of psychedelics and psychoactives as medicines and spiritual catalysts, about communication with spirits and entities, and delving a little bit into fringe material. I also learned about drugs, pharmacology, and neuroscience.

I've come to realize that Western medicine is best at treating acute conditions. Fast acting illnesses. Injuries. That sort of thing. It's fucking useless when it comes to general health maintenance, a lot of chronic conditions (especially those that it doesn't understand well), and psychoemotional disorders. Chinese medicine fills in these gaps quite well, but still falls short of being able to treat my condition properly. I've been able to prevent it from getting worse, and to alleviate symptoms to a degree, but my condition appears to be at a deeper level. Shamanism may have the tools that I'm looking for, to treat the spirit - which I believe is where the root of the problem lies.

>>104891

>>104892

Fairly recently I learned of a traditional Chinese medical concept called "Gu syndrome", a condition whose tongue and pulse presentation match mine perfectly - and whose symptom patterns include all of mine (and more, which suggests an interesting future). And I'm sure some of you may find this interesting, because it was classically used as a weapon - an undetectable poison of sorts. Gu is an illness that arises as a result of attack or perhaps posession by insidious demons, snakes, worms, or curses set upon you by an enemy. According to one of the few English articles on the subject I could find:

>The Yijing (Book of Change), that provides the earliest clues for an understanding of the medical connotations that were originally associated with the term Gu. Hexagram eighteen is entitled Gu, here most often translated as ‘Degeneration’. It is formed by the trigram xun (wind) below and the trigram geng (mountain) above.

>Classical commentators have remarked that this particular hexagram describes an energetic situation where a feeble wind cannot penetrate the dense area at the mountain’s base, creating a place that does not receive air and thus becomes decayed and rotten. According to the movement oriented philosophy of the Yijing that laid the foundation of all Daoist sciences, including Chinese medicine, movement means life and health, stagnation means death and disease. In the broad cultural context of the Yijing, Gu thus marks a state of extreme stagnation where corruption and decay have already manifested and can no longer be ignored. Whether this occurs in society as a whole or in the microcosm of the human body, the oracle advises that only drastic (albeit thoughtful) action can turn this serious situation around. Gu, in short, is the ancient Chinese symbol for extreme pathological yin the dark side of life, the worst nightmare of any human being. It represents darkness, rottenness, slithering vermin, poisonous snakes, betrayal, black magic, backstabbing murder and in medical terms, progressive organ decay accompanied by torturous pain and insanity.

I'm yet to experience any insanity, but I have become worried that my mental haze may be an early stage.

>The Chinese pictogram for Gu yields similar information. Brilliantly exemplifying the multidimensional quality of the symbolist mode of expression, the character Gu captures both the concept of decay as well as its most pertinent cultural and medical manifestations. Since the beginning of Chinese writing approximately 3,500 years ago, it has portrayed either two or three worms squirming in a vessel. In the words of a traditional commentator “Gu is if a cooking vessel remains unused for a long time and worms start to grow in it”.

>This symbol also reflects a bizarre yet widespread practice of ‘black alchemy’. Many traditional medical texts define Gu as the verminous manifestation of evil that appears when a wide variety of toxic worms and insects are locked into a vessel, where they naturally become each others prey. After a period ranging from three to twelve months, only one snake-like worm remains, which is said to contain the vicious and toxic potential of all the others. The ‘seed’ of the ‘Gu worm’ (gu chong), in a procedure of which the technical details remain unclear but which nevertheless can be classified as an early example of biological warfare, was then used to poison other people. The victim of these uncanny machinations appeared to die from a chronic disease and Gu poisoning was thus regarded as a popular way to kill without exposing the attacker a scenario similar to Napoleon’s ‘sickbed’ death induced by small but regular doses of arsenic, the true nature of which came to light only after the advent of hair analysis.

>As in other occult practices, the details of the production and application of Gu poison were kept secret by the communities that commanded them. Although primarily designed to empower their guileful masters by appropriating the victims’ wealth and source energy on both a material and a magical dimension, some practitioners apparently used it to further their political goals. Zhang Jiao for instance, the Daoist wizard and co-architect of the Yellow Turban uprising that toppled the powerful Han dynasty 1800 years ago, is said to have been “a master of Gu, the highly destructive and disorienting effects of which have often been confused with magic”.

>>104891

>>104892

>>104893

>The ground-up Gu worm was also renowned as one of the most effective remedies against Gu poisoning. So widespread was the production of Gu and anti-Gu substances that entire regions in Southern China became known as commercial Gu centres, similar to villages that base their livelihood on the cultivation of herbs. A host of textual references indicates, moreover, that the Gu phenomenon was deeply entrenched in the habitual texture of Chinese everyday life. Ancient travelers routinely carried rhino horn powder, said to make contaminated food foam, or other ‘anti-evil’ substances such as musk, realgar and garlic.The repercussions of Gu hysteria finally reached a state of intensity that caused the government to intervene. In 598 CE, according to the official dynastic annals, an imperial decree was issued that explicitly forbade the manufacture of Gu worms. Although the widespread application of this misguided alchemical practice has since disappeared, it reportedly survives until the present day among the mountain tribes of Southwest China. [7. See the anthropologist Ma Xueliang’s report on the customs of the Miao people, a shamanic matriarchal society residing at the shores of Lake Luogu in Yunnan: “Guozu de zhaohun yu fanggu” (Spirit Seances and Gu Poisoning Practised by the Luo People), in Yunnan Yizu Lisu Yanjiu Wenji (A Collection of Research Articles on the Customs and Rituals of the Yi Tribes), Chengdu, Sichuan Renmin, 1983.]

https://classicalchinesemedicine.org/gpa/driving-out-demons-and-snakes-gu-syndrome-a-forgotten-clinical-approach-to-chronic-parasitism/

Treatment for Gu syndrome with herbs has been the most effective treatment I have tried so far, but that isn't really saying much. The modern interpretation of Gu syndrome is something like lingering viruses, parasites, dysbiosis, worms, that sort of thing. I suspect this interpretation very much falls short, and that I could make much better progress attacking this from a spiritual angle. Unfortunately I don't really know how to do that. A lot of the traditional knowledge on more esoteric diseases such as Gu syndrome has been discarded or destroyed thanks to China's attempts to make their system of medicine more acceptable to the West, or simply left untranslated due to its obscurity. I'll continue to treat my physical body with herbal medicine, but I'm convinced that I need to find a way to treat the spirit too.

Things I am left wondering about:

- Can anybody point me towards the process of producing Gu worms as a curative? I haven't been able to find the article on the subject mentioned above, let alone an english version.

- Who or what has done this to me?

- Could it be that I was poisoned or cursed by an offended entity during my trips?

- Should I try to go back? Ask for forgiveness? Find another entity that might guide me? I have difficulty trusting such beings now.

- As a last resort, could I pass this on to somebody else instead?

- A different train of thought led me to the possiblity of so-called "shamanic illness". All things considered my condition has led me to a better path - that of a healer. Could this be a rite of passage of sorts?

- My condition shows strong signs of energy depletion. Has my vitality simply been drained somehow?

- Could I restore my vitality with energetic vampirism in some form or another?

- Does /fringe/ have any other ideas or band-aid solutions?

>>104891

>Am I separate from my body?

Yes. You aren't even really you, you're just a culmination of everything that you have mentally absorbed in the past. Same body could've been born in Alaska and you'd be a completely different person.

>Can consciousness move beyond the flesh?

Big time. Your consciousness will never die. Only your body will. We're all reborn someway.

>Is it possible to get lost, and become permanently separated from your body?

Not necessarily, but upon death yeah.

>Are there really only three dimensions?

There are more that are based on vibrations and frequencies.

>"Stop playing around, fool. You are not ready for this."

That's your own consciousness telling you that. Your body and your mind were excited about the drug, but your soul can speak to you without speaking. This is the concept of vibrations being a sort of universal basis of communication.

>Can anybody point me towards the process of producing Gu worms as a curative?

Unfortunately I can't help you there.

>Who or what has done this to me?

If you have tried to cure this through spiritual means, theres a good chance that its karma catching up with you from a past life. For your benefit, as it can't hurt, I have included this mantra picture to relieve you of all heavy negative karma you've done in your past lives. It will take effect in 15 days.

>Could it be that I was poisoned or cursed by an offended entity during my trips?

Unlikely. Unless that entity was you, the only thing the drugs were doing was opening yourself up in a way you hadn't done before but in a chemical fashion.

>Should I try to go back? Ask for forgiveness? Find another entity that might guide me?

Accept that what happened has happened. The solution will come to you once you've surrendered the notion of the feeling. This takes practice.

>As a last resort, could I pass this on to somebody else instead?

Even if you could, it would be seriously bad karma.

>Could this be a rite of passage of sorts?

Very much so. The universe teaching you through its own lessons so that you can pass them on and help others.

>My condition shows strong signs of energy depletion. Has my vitality simply been drained somehow?

Mentally it is likely, since this has obviously taken a toll on you.

>Could I restore my vitality with energetic vampirism in some form or another?

Again, bad karma.

>Does /fringe/ have any other ideas or band-aid solutions?

Acceptance that the mind is the true controller of the body can heal a lot of things, even my astigmatism temporarily.