/fringe/ - Fringe

>Its about 11pm and my buddy is doing the carfag's ritual greeting

>the girl behind the wheel might be 90lbs, guarantee I could throw her.

>kinda cute?

>maybe she's my buddy's age?

>guy riding shotgun is probably about 180lbs, looks older than me

>looks like he's got the maturity of living, while still somehow looking like a petulant child

>Dave and the girl are cautiously talking, complementing each others rides

>They're not actually saying anything of substance, as if they're both afraid the other is some kind of snitch

>Although we're not doing anything illegal, the cops don't like these meets

>Too many of the people that turn up are total morons

>They do all the illegal shit they can in a few short hours, and get surprised when cops turn up

>Dave and her are trying to figure out if either of our parties fit that bill

Its at this point that I both dismissed the guy sitting in the truck, but something about the way he sat and looked… Nervous?

I didn't dwell on it at the time, but I should have.

>After socially sniffing each other's butts, the mutual drivers and passengers including me dismount our vehicles

>The night is warm without being humid, cool without needing more than a light sweater

>We're all smoking cigarettes, sharing whatever we've got

>Dave ends up purely talking to this girl

>I end up purely talking to the guy

>He's wearing horribly edgelord tier "I don't know what this means but I know my parents will hate it!" styles and emblems

>That fuck is dating the girl he was sitting in the truck with

>I'm pretty much keeping him distracted as Dave is seducing this girl with words

>tbh seducing a girl like that, out of a relationship with someone who looks like this? e-z p-z

>Before I let him go full edgelord on me, I cut through the social foreplay and effectively interrogate him on what he's wearing

>sufferingafool.gif

2/?

>by this point we're all comfortable just shooting the shit with each other

>I got this guy to finally admit to some social substance, floating around full of bullshit in a meet like this?

>Either you're full of it, or you're hiding something

>We're halfway through our cigarettes, and he's admitting that the stuff he wears is just a smokescreen

>Keep people occupied with a punk-metal sort of image

<And nobody bothers you with substance, because they dismiss you as an edgelord

>Years of the chans made me jaded to the "I'm only pretending to be retarded!" argument

>Yeah I can be an influencing menace, getting information out of people

>Cigarettes and exhaustion are excellent tools of the trade

>He soon is claiming to be a former satanist, but not having entered it out of any amount of choice

Immensely curious and confident that I could break him to bits in a fight, I invite him to get some distance from my buddy and his girl so we could talk freely.

I still genuinely thought at the time, that if you knew how to use a fist? You could get out of anything.

>Damn was I wrong

If I was and knew then, what I've become now? I'd have made the offer again, but not the way that I did.

3/?

I’m interested so far

>All in all, I didn't want to let my friend overhear me talking about /fringe/ before I browsed /fringe/

>I had more cringy days, I'll fully admit

>Good friends are hard to come by, and Dave isn't a very spiritual type

>Or at least, I didn't think he was

>Meanwhile this edgelord that isn't an edgelord…

>Lets call him Steve

>I suggest to Steve that we should go sit by that store approx 150m away

>A Shoppers Drug mart, if you're Canuck enough to know what that is

>Do Americants even have shoppers?

>Anyways, he agrees, and things are 'peaceful' enough, at first

>We both realize that we're both very much alike in the way we see things

>I had the advantage of a honest Catholic and sheltered upbringing

>But he… Not so much.

This is when things started to get downright creepy. There was a very open undeveloped field, a house abandoned for… How long? A thin treeline, no traffic, and that road was less than 30m from where we were sitting, behind this mildly upscale store.

I was surprised that no cops pulled up and asked us what was up. Actually, I don't think there was anyone with a pulse in eyeshot. Its rare that this road that was more like a highway was deserted, its a major part of getting around in that side of the city.

Things felt heavy in a way that I never felt before. At least, I never felt it in that intensity. I never felt like such hostile eyes were on me, but in a way that was unsettling that's just indescribable. It wasn't my first time ever feeling that, the basement in the old military PMQ that I used to live in when much, much, much younger had that feeling there too. I remember always refusing to enter the basement unless the lights were on, and even then… Well…

I distinctly remembering feeling a terrible presence trying to find that damn light switch, and something in my young head just hit full brakes whenever I felt it.

<I was smarter then

4/?

>>125228

Continuing from the last bit of greentext

>It made sense that he didn't want his girlfriend to hear any of this either

>Even if they already knew each other for at least… A year?

>She was pretty much his lifeboat

<Couldn't bear to tell him that my buddy is an undercover womanizer, I had more… Pressing concerns.

>That feeling I described in my last post?

>It was only getting stronger

>I'm sitting next to a guy who's claiming to have been directly influenced by some really fucked up shit

>Things he said he saw since 6 years old

>These things took him on, more or less raising him

<if you could call it that

>He got so deep into what he outright said was black magick

>And by this point, we weren't dicing words anymore.

>He meant what he said

<It got so bad, that he couldn't look in the mirror, anymore

<What he saw is what he was

He didn't even try to bullshit me.

No "Happily Ever After", "Everything went back to normal".

>People were afraid of him on sight, he claimed

>He gave half of his body away to the thing which always """Haunted""" him

I still don't completely understand everything he told me in full. I don't know if he did either. I still revisit my memories of what he told me, because as I come to slowly understand more, I learn even more from my past.

Everything is a lesson, and time is not linear. I learned that the hard way. There are no coincidences.

From here forward, this is where I stop being a story teller, and more like a guilt filled anon using the internet as his confessor.

>What he said made sense

>So I told him mine

>Both sides of my family have been known for being able to do things that should have been impossible

>My Father's Great Aunt could heal

>But my Dad said she absorbed too many emotions of others in healing, and it killed her

>My Mother's Aunt and Godmother, I met this woman

>So much spite, but so much knowledge, and so much anger

>I sincerely believe that she is some kind of sorcerer

<No bully, Donna

>From all this, I could always get a significant amount about a person just by… Feels.

>I've always felt that people put out feels

>What made Steve unique to me was that I couldn't pick up anything from him

>I haven't actually had to directly talk and 'bond' via communication with anyone in a long time

>The experience was refreshingly social

<I wish it was under better circumstances

5/?

>>125229

>Oh yeah, my Mom and Sister can also do what I do

>The feels from other people bit?

>That Mother's Godmother, she also outright claimed to be able to "Read Hearts"

>My mom thought it was bullshit, jej

>I told Steve about all this, I think

>Or at least, all of that which of I knew of at the time

Not all of my memory on this is perfect tbh, but the parts that really stood out…

>And so much of it still stands out

>Including the look on Steve's face when I asked him about that really creepy feel

>It was the same as that basement feel, but turned up to a thousand…

>… While still feeling distant, but within eyesight

>If I could see it (yet)

<Steve's face fell to the most somber I've seen all night

>More sober than when we discussed his passed

>More sober than when I discussed all the funerals I've been to

>I think more than seven is alot

>More sober than when the cigarettes ran out

But he didn't have the 'we're fucked', look

<Not yet, anyways

>He asked me if I could see 'it'

>I said know, because I didn't - I could only feel it

>We agreed to keep on high alert

>He said that he could see it, that it was just watching

>He didn't say that it was watching us

>I still could tell that Steve meant that is was watching, just not yet really focusing on us

By this point I could start to get 'feels' detection off Steve.

It was something that was gradually building as we came to quickly trust each other more.

>Having a very, very, rare irl intelligent conversation with a like minded person when least expected will do that

>Having something I never saw before that gave me genuine goosebumps also helped

<At this point Steve tells me not to do anything stupid

>I was making a cross out of the shitload of pebbles around us

>I ask him if that counts as stupid

<Well, no shit, sherlock

>I dismantle the stones, but I get a very strong pang of emotion, as if I really, really, fucked up

>I don't know it that was me picking that up from Steve, or anything that was genuinely my own

>I could feel Steve's confidence, though

>Confidence, that is, in the ability to gtfo without too many issues

As if it was going to be that easy

6/?

>>125230

>Despite all that, Steve was starting to get unnerved

<'This is why we can't have nice things, for fucks sake'

>Then things start happening

>At least one of the streetlights to where I sensed those eyes coming from

>It just turned off

>There's a drive through with its speaker ordering system within eye and hearshot

>Its making sounds

I've known my tech rather well for the longest time. I don't have any living memory of a speaker doing anything like that. Those stores closed hours ago, as we had spent so much of the night talking and smoking. There's no reason for them to be making sounds

>There were no cars pulled up at the speaker

>The foodstuffs place staff had went home by then

>There was nobody around

>Those sounds started innocent enough, but once I listened carefully

<There's no way in hell a human made those sounds

>But I could still hear at least one voice

>Demented whispering doesn't describe it

>I think the moon was cloaked by the clouds

>It was getting louder

>And that thing of the eyes was starting to approach

I'm starting to get chills, going through this again in detail

I'm gonna keep writing anyways, because…

Well, this is only the story that starts all the other ones

Maybe after this one, I'll post them too, chronologically

7/?

>>125235

>I didn't want to stick around to listen

>Every fiber of my being was yelling at me to gtfo out of this thing's way

>So, we scrambled

>We ran to the middle of the rather well lit parking lot

>Where we were sitting had poor lighting at best

>Never felt panic like that in my life

>I'm feeling shaken, not stired

>I ask him what it was

>And he just says that this stuff is the cost of being what he was

>Things don't just get better on their own

At this point I still couldn't really see what it was… But as it was approaching, I thought I briefly saw something. Maybe I felt the presence? The only time I heard explicitly audible whispering was from those speakers, which only got louder as it approached.

>I asked him about maybe approaching the speakers to take a closer look

<areyoubraindamaged.png

>At this point I wonder why it didn't come sooner

>Then I realize that my buddy and the girl aren't around anymore

>They deserted the parking lot

>At least that thing isn't following us to the much better lit area

>We were just sitting behind the store, maybe it liked our 'park bench'?

>I take out my phone, and call Dave

>A few rings, then he picks up

8/?

>>125242

>I can see where we met in that parking lot

>Dave and the girl just aren't there anymore

>Why do I choose degenerates for friends?

>Dave finally picks up the phone

>Felt like an eternity

>I'm feeling that shaken, but I manage the voice of a sane person somehow

>I'm still pissed that he's gone

>Why now?

>Turns out some guy who's been a pain

>Guy that Dave and I used to work with

>Somehow he turned up so Dave fucked off

>Fucked off so we wouldn't have to deal with other guy's shit

<I feel like I want to scream

Before I called Dave, Steve and I agreed that if the thing that we were trying to avoid make another rush? That we wouldn't take it like pussies. We'd hold our ground and put up a mental/spiritual fight - The best we could muster.

It was a sort of a "Yeah we're fucking dead, we can feel it in our guts, but hey! It was nice meeting a person that didn't completely suck."

Steve had a bit of a depressed vibe to him after that, like that thing's presence was his fault. As if he dragged someone unwitting into something more than anyone should have to deal with. I don't hold it against him, though. I wouldn't want to live his life.

By this point, I'm assuming that the thing could approach because there weren't as many people around. But… Who knows what its capable of? I sure as hell don't know.

9/?

>>125244

Yes, I still see myself as a Neophyte

I don't think I'll ever stop seeing myself as a Neophyte

Cheers to anyone sticking along

Back to the story

>I demand that Dave gets his ass back on over

>Fuck that other guy

>They took both vehicles and left

>I order their asses back over

>I tell them I'll explain when they arrive…

That faggot of a friend of mine was just hiding around the corner, trying to play an innocent joke.

>But my jimmies were really rustled now

>Steve and I agree to give whatever excuses properly suit our social counterparts

>He very soon turns up

<reliefasifipissedmyself.gif

>I get my ass into the car, sitting shotgun

>Dave was worried, but now is very concerned

>I must have looked like a mess, the look on his face

>He demands explanation

<Wait till we're out of earshot of them, its bad

>We agree to meet somewhere else

>Behind a YMCA

>Hold on, I know that area

>Its Steve's idea to go there, but how is that a better place?

>Open field

>No other people probably

>Surrounded on every other side by treeline

>Sure its not a small area, also should be well lit

>Ffs we're out of cigarettes too

>Its a bad idea, but what do I know? I just go with it

>We start driving there, and pull away

<Explanation start

11/?

Too bad this thread is broken. I really wanted to read the rest of the story.

>>125245

>I begin to explain in shorthand

<Spoopy stuff I don't understand is spoopy!

>I give him a light overview of the feel

>The eyes, the speakers, the presence

Then he just stops me

>I don't need to hear any more of this

>I trust you anon

<I didn't expect that reply

>Not from Dave, of all people

>He goes on to say that with a group of friends

>They once went to some abandoned place

>And someone came into contact with something they shouldn't have

>Full body possession, he described it as

>Didn't stop until a more learned faggot from their sausage fest

>Forced salt down the person's mouth

>Then the possession stopped

>Things went back to normal

>And they got the fuck out

So my story wasn't a stretch, compared to witnessing that

>I've always been the more religious person

>Out of all the people I know

>Always talking about more heavier, serious stuff

>So if I'm saying this shits happening

>Dave just accepts it, and doesn't need

>Doesn't want

>To know anything else

>So we pull into the YMCA parking lot

>Nice enough place, well kept

>Upper middle class normalfags like it

>Aaaanddd… We just stumbled on a drug deal at 1AM

>The fags doing the handoff screw off on sight

>Because a Ford ST and a Truck of no consistent color just pulled into the lot

12/?

>>125303

>By this point I also told Dave that Steve is more than what he looks like

<"Yeah man, doesn't he kinda look like it though?"

>fuckme@makeitstop.biz

>"By the way, I'm stealing that girl from him"

>I shoot Dave a look

>But yeah, he's pretty much a former satanist who knows shit

>So be smart and quick about it

Bros before hoes, not gonna get in the way of my buddy's libido

>Besides, I'm confident that there's something odd

>About this whole YMCA thing

>Few places could be worse than this

>All the lighting is much weaker

>So much bush and open field

>The moon is visible, but the overcast is also heavy

>That bit of protection could just go away

>At any time

<fuck me

<fuck me

<fuck me

>but please don't aktually

>But everythings calm right now

>cool

>If the parking lot is a long, sizable rectangle

>with the short end where it meets with the highway

>we're at the far opposite side

>its say… a medium sized lot?

>The air feels… Peaceful?

>Relaxed?

>The tension soon melts away from our merry gathering of chain smokers

>The girl that Dave is virtually finished stealing has more cigarettes?

>She was hording them, but

>Fuck it, this nights too crazy

>Moar chainsmoking

>Moar bad jokes

>Maybe we might aktually have a proper chill evening now

13/?

>>125304

>Everything starts to go very wrong, very fast

>I watch and look up

>As massive overcast conceals the moon

>Everything gets colder

>The oppressive feel of dread returns in full

>I feel cold, but its not the wind

>Because the wind is dead

>I can't hear any birds or animals

>Not that I think of it, I couldn't hear any of them all night long

>Not even crickets

>Really usual, given that this City was built on a swamp

>And much of the natural wildlands just weren't built on yet

>Because its a fucking swamp

>And relatively expensive to build on

>I keep running my mind towards these distractions

>But the lights feel weaker now

>Even dimmer than before

>A corner of my mind whispers to me

>A mortified panic

<What if the something of spooks is strong enough to snuff them out?

>I shove the thought aside

>I don't want that thought to materialize

>This time everything feels far more like its all for keeps

>Somehow

And I know its not just me

<Its not just me feeling and sensing this stuff

>Everyone is now on edge

>We're all standing closer together

>We're keeping our eyes on a constant sweep around us

>We're all watching over another person's shoulder

>As if we were infantry in fucking 'Nam, or Afghanistan

>Nothing needs to be said, other than

"Can you feel that? Can you feel it?"

14/?

>>125305

Yes

We can all feel it

But we're all handling it so far very differently

>The girl is going about it as a

>"Yeah, whatever. Its not real, so it makes no difference to me."

>With a bad bitch girl sort of attitude

>And I know that attitude is getting Dave turned on right now

>But is she even bothered?

>Could she be used to this like Steve?

>Dave isn't saying anything

>He knows what he's sensing is real, but I don't think he knows what it is

>At least, hes trying not to say anything about that presence

>It had to have been terrifying him

>Steve is as cool as a cucumber

>But he's not aloof

>He knows what's going on far better than me

>But that that detail as you will, I'm less than a neophyte at this point imo

>And his jimmies are not unrustled

>Then there's me

>I was praying in the car on the way here

>I think I have my shit together

>But I really don't want a round two

<Not unless its booze

>My wits feel sharp yet sluggish

>Its 1AM and I didn't sleep well the previous night

>Oh well

This is when a male and female start walking by

The YMCA is behind a rather nice series of subdivisions

>There's a trail that cuts through the YMCA

>Through the bush that acts as a buffer between that residential area and this gym/pool/ect

>Handy for privacy

>But by this point if the spooky was at a 7/10 when it started at this place

>We're at a 9/10 right now

>And I'm hearing all kinds of things in the bush

>Its not animals, I was born in the Canadian North

>I know those aren't animals

>I hear voices sometimes too

>I ask Steve

<Weaker but still dangerous spirits are drawn to and follow around stronger, very dangerous spirits. That's what you're hearing. That's what you're sensing

15/?

>>125306

>Then, wtf are these idiots doing?

>Can't these people sense what they sense?

>They've got a snobbery about them though

>They're putting up a strong air of ignoring us

>Because how dare we be chainsmokers in this public parking lot

>While they're out for their romantic walk in the woods?

>Who the fuck goes walking in these woods at this hour?

>The woods in this city are

<Fucked up

>I mean seriously fucked up

>Always fucked up, there's some strange shit in this city

>This is only the half of it

>And these fucks

<Can't they feel this shit too? Its not just me!

"Should we tell them?"

>I think it was Dave that asked

>But it could have been the girl

>I can't remember her actual name, so I won't give her one

>We all agree not to say anything

>But once they're out of eyeshot and into the woods

>I pipe up

'Well I guess they're fucked."

>But there's that unspoken air

>That if they're fucked

>Aren't we too?

>But none of us yet thought of, or at least spoke of

>Not the idea of getting in our vehicles again

16/?

>>125307

Also, apologies to those reading along

I do need to take brakes when writing this out

>Its my first time fleshing out this story in writing

It takes a good deal of energy to process

<And isn't easy to think though again

But, I will finish this

One way or another

As many days as it takes

>>125307

>At this point, there's a brief patch in my memory

>I'm not sure how much time passed

>When we were nervously stood there for

>But during it those noises

>Of things that certainly weren't human

>But had a 'human voice'

>Voices which were calling us

<Come closer

>Not like those cats trying to talk

>This was kind of different

>Something that was trying to sound natural

>Was doing a good job at it

>But too good of a job

>Too clear, despite the distance

>And screams

>Other noises that were outright disturbing

>I knew the others could hear them too

>We all commented on them

>Thinking back, there was something else in it too

>It had its own presence

>I knew that this is when it was really going downhill

>A person with weak or innocent mind/will

>Someone like that would have been easily drawn in

>Not like a magnetic personality

>But that feeling you get, as if you were water

>Drawn by gravity to stand or look or investigate something

>Sinister but with a veil behind it

>A veil that telegraphs what it is

>But hides it perfectly to the viewer each time

>That presence…

>I still can't completely describe it

>It felt not human

>But when I reach out with my mind among friends

>There's good energy

>Like that, but…

>Without the kindness

>Without the warmth

>But all the intelligence

>>125320

>They grew louder

>Then silent

>In the field

>There was something that I was seeing for the first time

>But a presence I've felt before

>From the basement when I was young, I remember this

>It was terrible

>I've never seen darkness be this black

>Darker than black?

>But I don't want to use a trope

>But that describes it perfectly

>But it was as if it was still illuminated

>My eyes could still see through it

>But there was no light

>I know this because of what was happening to the street lamps

>About a meter and a half away form where the concrete of the lot ended

>It was like a perfect line was drawn in the sand

>But an invisible one

>It was angled in a way that could not have been possible by how light 'should work'

>Because the street lamps in the parking lot were arranged in a perfect grid

>That invisible line was angled

>And beyond it, the light just stopped

The light just didn't go any further

<I've never seen that before in my life

<Since then I've never seen light do that

<And I could see the reason why it was stopped

>>125321

>It stopped

>And it continued on like this for what seemed like

>Dozens, and dozens of kilometers

>But I've been here before, its not that much land

>Certainly not worth measuring in kilometers

>But what stood in that darkness looked like it was near and far at the same time

>I don't think it was normal space

>Because of how light DIDN'T interact with it

>And the creature that stood so now clearly in it

>Was near and far at the same time

>Approaching and drawing away very, very slowly at the same time

>I can't remember completely what the head looked like

>But the thing that stood out most was its torso

>A white t-shirt, or a white cuirass

>It shined bright white

>Without 'emitting' light

>Arms and legs like leaking darkness, the word tendrils might be usable… But it doesn't really fit

>They weren't long, they looked regular in length

>But they were made of some kind of energy? Some force?

>The others said they could hear whispering

>But I didn't hear any coming from this creature

>It was beautiful in a terrifying way

>I knew standing there that there were only so many things like this

>That things like this aren't seen in many lifetimes, let alone more than once

>Steve, he still had some confidence

>So he approached it, stepping over that 'line' and into the darkness

>Before he did so, he claimed that there were things he could say to it

>To make it leave

>Once it appeared, we were just staring at it

>I know Steve and I could see it, but I don't remember or think that Dave could

>Steve went pretty far in

>It brought much of that distance back into perspective

>The distance became more… Rational, to three dimensional space

>It made the creature seem further away

>But that 'near and far' effect was still present

>I think Steve went out a good four or five meters out?

>I remember thinking him to be crazy

>And when he walked back, much faster than he went in

>Telling me about how the words didn't work

>Words he learned in his time participating in those much darker things

>Well, now he's worried

>He's got nothing left

>So he did an experiment

>>125322

>Where he stood and walked previously

>It wasn't with any light being physically blocked out

>So he stood in the shade of a tree

>A tree that directly blocked the light of the street lamps

>And stood there for a bit

>And then stepped out, calling me over

I don't know why I listened to him

I resisted at first

>I approach Steve

>He tells me to stand in that shadow, where its dark

>My instinct says no

>My curiosity said yes

>And so I did

>And Steve asks me if I could feel it

>And I could feel and sense hands

>I could see them behind me with my mind

>I could see and feel them

>Trying to rip the spine out of my back

>Trying to at the same time, rip my spine out through the back of my neck

<Writing this, the back of my neck feels that kind of strange

>Like the hands were digging into my flesh

I need a break

Just when you get to the actual content, too..!

>>125323

>I step out of the tree's shadow

>Quickly

>I don't know what to feel

>My mind is disorganized and messy

>I immediately start moving away

>I call out to Dave

<We need to go

>Not like he needs to be told twice

>My mind is gradually falling apart with each second since I stepped away

>I can still feel the hands

>They're very slowly fading

>I can feel the presence in my head

>Its not going to just go away

>Its like an afterimage

>I can't shake it

>But now I'm sitting in the car

>My hands are shaking

>The shadow of the hand's touch, I can still feel it on my skin although the hands are gone now

>It takes a good fifteen minutes? Half hour?

>It doesn't easily go away

>I'm meditating, praying in the chair

>Eyes closed, trying to flush this influence out of me

>It feels necrotic in a spiritual way

>But I feel it in my flesh, too

>If wine didn't just become vinegar

>If it could rot, and be forced to push through your veins

>This is that

>I didn't talk to Dave initially

>I wasn't able to

>He tried to demand my attention, but I didn't reply until I meditated enough to collect myself enough

>Can't babble like a baby in front of the guys

>To describe it

>Its like my head is a very large brass bowl

>Very large

>And someone whispered something terrible into it

>And I'm trying to counter vibrate against the words

>>125330

>Even once I finish my meditations, I'm still very shaken up

>Its more than the hands

>More than that hot yet dead touch

>As I was standing there, my ears were also 'burning'

>Fuzzy, hot, and something else

>Don't know how to describe that something else

>Fuzzy doesn't even really fit

>But it burned

>It burned horribly

>Not so much the burning, and that touch

>But so much violent intent

>So much anger and spite

>My mind was overwhelmed

>Not just by the presence I was feeling when standing there

>But what it all meant

>By this time I wasn't completely sure about what to think of the Occult

>But the implications of all this in the eyes someone unconvinced?

>While trying to recover my fragmented mind from all that?

>>125332

>It was made of light

>But not like the light you get off a candle

>Not like the light you get off an electric bulb

>It was energy, and damn did it glow

>Black, white, and a color of 'blue'

>Well it wasn't blue

>Never saw that color before in my life

>It was fantastically beautiful

>Beautiful in a high art/culture/presence sort of way

>Perfect form kind of beautiful, but I don't know if I aught to call it that

>It was like the shapes and those spikes on that crucifix were being continued up

>In a fantastic pattern which I never before saw, but looked somehow familiar

>The white shone brighter than I ever saw the sun

>It was fantastically pure

>I feel like I was better off for seeing it

>Pure energy

>But so was the black

>But it wasn't 'darkness'

>It shone too

>Clean, beautiful, with such depth while still being flat

>And the 'blue' interlace

>It tied it all together

>So fantastically clean

>Damn did it shine

>But it wasn't natural light

>All the other light in the room looked and left weaker, dimmed

>Not because it was reduced

>But because something so fantastic was there

<All this scared the shit out of me

>>125333

>My Dad was standing to my left

>Him and I already discussed that night, I just didn't tell him everything

>He wouldn't be able to handle everything

>I whisper into my Dad's ear that I need to step out

>I ask him to come with me

>DadConcern.png

>We step out of the church

>I tell him

<And he tells me to go back

>"Anon, is it a bad thing?"

>"Well, no Dad…"

>"Does it feel like its some kind of evil?"

>"Dad, no, but some things can pretend…"

>"Does it look like a good thing?"

>"Yes. It does."

>"Then don't run from it, anon. Don't run."

Its also worth mentioning that I discussed the priesthood with my Dad, among other things in the past of this level. He never was a spiritual one like my Mom, but he was raised a Protestant. I suppose it was a more Protestant attitude I needed, to get back into that Catholic Church - And so I did.

>I go back in

>I get back into the pew with my Dad

>Briefly telling my Mom that there's nothing to worry about

>And then my eyes slide out of focus again like before, so easily

>And I can see it again

>I can feel so many things in that church

>As if everything was flowing like water

>And from a distance without touching that water

>I could feel its temperature, flow, and almost a sort of faint electricity running through it

>But it was so subtle

>>125334

>Until the consecration

>And that's the part when they transmute that round bread wafer for people to eat

>Until then, I just watching and looked at that fantastic 'light'show

>Trying to imprint into my memory as much of the shape and pattern as I could

>A part of me knew so well that I may not see that again either

>So I savor it

>And relax

>I don't remember how long it lasted for

>But then we all knelt, because thats what you do for the consecration

>And the Priest raised his hands

>His focus was so unusually intense on the ritual of the mass that the air felt like glass

>As if the slightest noise could shatter the atmosphere

>His singing was on point, every vibration perfect

>Not even the usual church brats were screaming their faces off

>Not even the usual feminist elderly gossip whores where chattering away in the front of the church

>They were all silent

>They were all silent for the ritual of the mass

>The feeling of peace in that room was so complete

>Like one total energy

>One synchronized vibration

>Just the same way that thing got me to my very core, where I could feel it within

>This was just as deep

>Just as complete

>Then the Priest, as he was in the depth of the ritual

>I felt a presence behind him

>I could see it, but there was no image my eyes could see

>I could feel it, but I can't describe it with any of my usual senses

>Like a malicious thing lightly grabbed him by the neck of his collar

>And gave him a gentle tug

>I could tell from the expression on the Priest's face

>That he could feel the tug

>He might have even felt the presence

>Well, how couldn't have he?

>>125335

>The Priest's hand rises

>In a brief tug of war, retaking control of his collar

>It was enough to break his concentration

>Its like hitting a giant brass bowl

>For that perfect resonance

>And then someone takes their hand, and firmly touches the bowl

>Ending that absurdly fantastic sound

>That's what that thing did

>I'm totally sure about this, out of very few things

>That something wanted

>Needed

>To break that man's concentration

>I know with every fiber of my being

>That the cross and its fantastic energy

>That most sublime silence

>This reverence and concentration

>A fully involved Priest

>That something fantastic could have happened

>If only he ignored that harmless little distracting tug

>And completed that ritual

>It was so close to being finished

<Can you see my frustration between these words?

>Why is it that things so good and great are so easily shattered?

>But such terrible influences come in a way that feels so cheap

>>125336

Feeling completely cheated, the next day I would speak with the same Priest about it. The three Priests which ran the Parish were all friends of mine. I would do volunteer IT for all the tech related stuff in the church, so they wouldn't need to hire on someone far too expensive for their budget.

When I would volunteer, I would usually ask and debate about matters of the Church and Catholic faith. Instead of doing that, I asked the Priest a simple question.

>"Why did you adjust your collar? Why didn't you ignore the pull?"

It was the last thing that he was expecting. I would eventually tell him then for the first time about all the past occult tier things I had seen and felt, including that dark figure with the white chestplate. All of it. Nothing more of that come of it afterwards.

>Actually, we never spoke of anything like that again. I've had the feeling that I shouldn't

Can't scare a man of the church too much, telling him about the unseen

>>125347

I've never again seen or heard the name of whatever that thing I saw was

>I've been always curious to know what it was

I would still feel what would undeniably be its presence every so often

But that's not what frightens me. Since then, no person has ever been able to make me feel fear. All these things changed me so completely, but I wonder why I was even able to see them.

>Is it the result of a past life's witchcraft?

>Or is this the result of being as serious a Catholic as I am/was - Its still a part of me, but I choose to leave behind the misinformation and lies

>I also practiced meditation through the instruction of when I used to practice martial arts

>Prayer and meditation of a slightly more advanced degree is something I learned my own in the Church since very young

I have no idea. My readings of Occult things have been on and off as my own nerve has let me - I'd rather be very careful, than very burnt. I've seen people that went far down the Left Hand Path as some of the texts I've read have described.

Not just Dave. Its not pretty.

>>125348

In highschool I knew a kid that claimed that he was collecting souls, so that when he died, he could present them in return for a position in Hades rather than damnation.

>I didn't take him seriously at first

>I was a Catholic then that hated 'such superstition'

But I soon carefully became acquaintances with him

He was never compelling as a person in my eyes

>He looked less than plain

>But could 'somehow' then charm all kinds of attractive girls our age

>But in conversation, he was always guarded with me

>I could always sort of sense other's people emotions, and feel them as if they were my own

>Its a confusion thing to have to come to terms with

>But him, he was consciously guarded

>I couldn't feel things off him, unless a conversation had whispered to him to let his guard loosen

>And even then, if a person's emotions are like flames

>From him, rarely more than smoke

>Eventually we became better friends

>He effectively charmed virtually everyone in that school

>But I just maintained conversation with him

>People were overwhelmingly loyal to this guy

>As if he pulled these other students out of burning buildings, and soon-to-explode car wrecks

>And always more socially relevant students, too

>He didn't look strong

>But you never knew what this guy was going to do next

And I have no reason to believe that he has, or would change

Some people are just a puzzle

And I could never help but try to deconstruct their origins

Why do people think the way they do?

>I don't know if I can't turn that curiosity off

>Or its the feeling the emotions of others that I can't turn off

I know that with will and discipline that I can control it better, and wield it better

<But I don't even know if I want to change it

<Or even if I should

>>125350

I suppose that's all I got.

I'd have to scour my mind to find anything else worth posting. If anyone read this far and wants to toss their two cents in, I'm eager to hear.

>>125357

>> I may have bitten off more than I could choose by choosing Fight rather Flight.

*chew** by choosing

I'll take this chance to add that I believe even hail Satan or some praises to Lucifer would have probably been effective to a certain degree

>>125357

>Did you say the words God, Jesus or the name of any pagan deity

I told my mom a little bit of it after, and she asked me why I didn't invoke God.

When I prayed, I evoked God and Michael the Archangel when getting my mind back together. I didn't know then that sending positive energy at a negative thing would have been effective - I hadn't understood anything substantial about energy yet.

But when I was facing it, the idea just wasn't present in my mind. When asked why, all I can do is shrug my shoulders and say "I dunno". Looking back, the idea just wasn't present. This detail is what compelled me to particularly go back to studying the occult. I wanted to learn things specifically related to recognition, healing, and psychic defense. I refuse to let this happen again to such an embarrassment.

>>125358

>some praises to Lucifer would have probably been effective to a certain degree

Some time after this, I was playing monopoly with one of the guys. One of them wanted a good dice roll, so he said "Hail Satan" before throwing the dice. When he did, I could feel a ripple of something very unpleasant through my apartment, which even my roommate sitting next to me felt.

Some time later this guy would admit to me that he had success with evocation rituals, and that while awake, the names of the demons of the pit would enter his head at random. What that ripple felt like was similar to that thing's presence. Not a perfect match by any stretch of the imagination, but it certainly belongs to the same category in my books.

I would also go on, from that night onward to meet an endless amount of people who have either seen this thing particularly, or something described to have plenty of similarities. All these people in common sort of have the same signature to them, like either something was added to their minds, or removed by encountering this thing. For me, it took a significant amount of time to shake its afterimage from my mind - I could see it when I slept. That took a significant amount of effort through meditation, and forced me to learn a great deal about myself.

>I had to learn how to choose the things which have power over me

Which is something that surprisingly few people have come realize for themselves, I find

>>125348

Sorry to ask, if it is uncomfortable to answer for you.

I get he's one of the people that went down the Left Hand Path, but what happened to Dave? Did he continue chasing the girl? What else that you can share happened to him after that?

>>125436

We maintained contact with each other for about a week. He told me that he could enter people's dreams. He used to use that for the Satanist group that he was a part of, to keep an eye on the local cannibals. Keep them from going too far and becoming the real scourge that cannibals can turn themselves into. Apparently they put a significant effort into trying to stomp that cult out.

He didn't keep chasing the girl. I think he redoubled his participation in something in the /fringe/ domain, but I don't know what.

>>125438

>If you've thought about becoming a priest in a serious way then you've attracted attention

Do you know what it is that I saw?

I used to pray for God to show me what I can be in his service. When I was much younger, I was emotionally spent and exhausted. I surrendered those things to God, and instead found myself sensing and feeling the minds and thoughts of others. I prayed that I might someday see things as they are. Not for a comfortable Micky Mouse image and perspective on the world where a man lives and dies. Just another cog in a machine meant to break civilizations.

We are in agreement about what the Church has become, its why I've distanced myself from that Fr. Mitch Pacwa style theology. Its why I've focused more on instinct and prayer. This last week my prayer and meditation hit a level I didn't think possible. I can feel whats next. I know whats next, and I am afraid.

<That wont stop me from moving forward

But I had no idea that just being in the state of willing to enter the Priesthood would bring that kind of draw. And I suppose that makes sense. The blind, accepting faith approach has really been my only real compass in everything.

>>125440

>Do you know what it is that I saw?

No idea.

I suspect that the whole thing was a setup though.

Your interest in the priesthood is going to change your "frequency". It's an inclination towards service. Some kind of deep subconscious commitment you may have already made looking for an appropriate outlet. Maybe. Either way your likely a positive influence even if you don't recognize it.

We mostly filter out psychic data before it gets to our conscious mind. If your already sensitive to it then that's likely another reason for being targeted, probably for recruitment.

If your dealing with this kind of stuff you should carry a pocket New Testament at least. Reading from it out loud will have an impact. A rosary is also useful to have on you.

>>125450

Service. I've realized that a life of reading and helping people get back onto their feet would be the only thing that would satisfy me. Its the only thing that sates my wanderlust. I've eyed military service, the priesthood, opening a restaurant, I can't seem to get it out of my bones.

>My readings have been focused to energy and healing for… I don't know how long.

My Dad told me that there's the blood of healers in his side of the family. I would consider myself successful if I learned how to wield it.

I've got a mini-bible, Catholic Revised Standard. I wouldn't mind an older copy, though…

I've lost faith in my rosary, although I still have it. But, with things as they are, I'll try and meditate with it again. I've been wary of the aspects of the Church that don't aim themselves directly to God, and properly looking after the congregation. In Canada, the Church has become degenerate, and just a place of social masturbation and progressive politics.

>Yes, I've become disillusioned

>Yes, I'd love to have an excuse to dive back in, rather than just doing my own thing in a corner