/fringe/ - Fringe

I was a mundane person in the beginning of this year. I was practicing Buddhism for some time, starting a practice of meditation. It taught me compassion and calmness, but it also made me even more reclusive, somewhat making my interaction with people awkward; but that wasn't bad! I learned that all my relationships with the people of my daily life were not honest, they were artificial! I learned that I had been pretending in those relationships, pretending that I was "like this". I quit pretending to be that "this", and that choice was great; I feel I am more "real"; it is as if I had shed a major layer off the "false self".

I quit porn and masturbation. That took me a lot of tries, as I succumbed to those bestial urges… thinking of it, it was really horrifying to be like that, like an animal. I still have urges, but I command them now. I've become the rider of the horse, instead of being the horse myself! I have vowed to be celibate and virgin, because sex has lost its appeal.

I also quit swearing. I feel that this, along with emotional alchemy, has mostly slew the Blind Aggression that once burned my body with terrifying passion. I say nay to it!

After being Buddhist for a while, I found /fringe/. I've spent a lot of time studying, and I am convinced. I have a lot of synchronicities, and an event that was so beautiful that I don't dare to tell of it to anyone; but I am sure that my ascension has begun.

I have learned meditation and thought-control, though I wish I had practice more, and had begun it earlier; who knows, maybe I would be past Step 1 of IIH if I had. But it does not matter too much.

I have been too lazy. I have neglected my practice and study for "mundane fun", either playing video games or playing music. I have quit most of my video games, only playing for few minutes if waiting for a download to finish, but I want to quit music; I mean, it is fun and all, it's a nice creative hobby, but I need to focus more on practice. I also need to stop using Internet for too long, I waste my days on useless websites and imageboards. It needs to stop.

I haven't grown magically as much as I had hoped for, but instead have grown to be a better being. I am more respectful to others, more understanding and compassionate, more helpful.. there's still a lot of anger in me, but I see past it more, it doesn't burn me as much.

The next year I wish that I'll have a lot of breakthroughs in magic. I wish I will progress in IIH, in yoga, in meditation, etc. I also wish that I will have more time to practice, to be alone.

Overall, a good year but it could have been better if I hadn't been so lazy. The next year my environment will change, (I'll be living alone), so I will have more time and space to practice, without fear of someone interrupting me.

>>14854
Also, I bested my brain fog. It had haunted me for two years, but I bested it with autosuggestion. That was my dose of "green pill".

I also quit eating sugar crap and junk food, and I've reduced my meat eating. I still need to work on balanced diet, but I am going to the right direction.

At the beginning of this year, and for the great majority of it, I was a mundane individual to whom nothing particularly strange or unusual ever happened, and who took little interest -and more commonly, outright dismissed- the various kinds of topics covered on this board. However, one day I happened upon /fringe/ and was set aback by the sheer volume and variety of written topics collected here; I thought, if it were really just a bunch of bullshit, why would there be so much written about it? I have since attempted to set aside my doubts and fervent skepticism to evaluate these kinds of ideas myself, and where possible, put them into practice.

As far as successes go, I have made strides to improve my diet and state of mind. Several months prior to beginning my studies here, I cut caffeine out of my diet entirely, and more recently I have begun to move away from processed and sugary foods. I wonder how I ever managed to stand them, as I simply feel ill if I try most anything that's packaged, frozen, comes out of a box, etc.

In regards to vices or character flaws, I have been trying to reign in my masturbation. Getting rid of porn was the easy part; dealing with the effects of a lifetime of porn use has not been quite as kind. The wild animal within me has been quieter as of late, and by the end of next year I will have it fully tamed. I think I'm over the worst of it by this point.

I have tried a handful of ways to heal some of my health problems. In this short period I haven't yet been totally cured of any one thing, but I have seen some improvements. I have also experienced some unusual effects/sensations in my body and surrounding environment. Maybe it is not yet the undeniable proof I'm looking for, but it does look to point in the right direction.

There is still so much to read, learn, and perform in the coming year. Whatever happens, the path seems to go upward.

>>14855
Where'd you learn autosuggestion?

>>14855
what was the wording you used for autosuggestion?

Gave some attempts to sigil magick but without success. Though I've had some strange synchronicities with something I was very emotionally invested in, and on days that prove there is more to this than just a coincidence. Strangely though, I haven't consciously used any kind of magick with the synchronicities, which is why I'm so stumped. Conscious attempts at beginner-tier stuff failed, but big stuff happened when I never even had the outcome in mind.

So yeah, so far the situation seems to be that I believe in magick, I have now seen proof to believe in magick, I just can't figure out what to do from here. It's hitting a broken piece of electronics a few times and it starts to work, but you still don't know what it is exactly that made it work, or even what place to hit next time it breaks down.

>>14957
From some post back in the old board, it was pretty basic, "repeat X before falling asleep" or such.

When going to sleep, repeat a mantra in your head, either "I am X, I am X…", or "My X is Y, My X is Y..", or maybe "(Your name) is this and this.." like if you were addressing yourself in third person. I'm not sure of the last one, though, I'm testing it out.

Keep it simple, and no negatives. Don't say, "I am NOT X…", but try to find a way to say it positively. Like, don't say, "I am NOT fearful…" - this might backfire and make you even more fearful - but say, "I am courageous!"

Repeat this eyes open if you're lying in your bed, you want to repeat this about 40 times or more. Then close your eyes but keep repeating… wait for the sleep to come, and see the results later. It might take a lot of time for your wish to manifest, so give it a moment. Repeat the same suggestion each night until you succeed.

>>14961
"My mind is clear, my thoughts are clear." Also try visualizing a bright light shining in your head, like sun dispelling the darkness, and imagine the light chases away the fog in your mind.

>>15034
and these mantras work for making physical changes on the etheric and physical level?

Like saying "I am Tall" over and over will make me taller?

It is suggested that the suggestions are placed before sleep or upon awakening to take advantage of the brainwave state at that time, right? The best state for it is alpha or theta. Would it be more effective and efficient to just play brainwave beats online, to ensure a more effective state, which is accessible at all times?

tl;dr