>>18625I began to degenerate when I was 13 (when I found porn) and I turned into a sexual deviant ("/d/ taken to its extreme"). For that period of my life I was agnostic, ignorant, lazy, angry and hedonist. But when 18, I felt so empty and degraded that I joined NoFap, bested the addiction for good, found /fringe/. . . and now I am here!
I am not ashamed. Perhaps if I hadn't experienced what I had I wouldn't be here and I would continue living a mundane, ignorant life; and I would have missed one of the biggest teachings - the emptiness of material world and pursuit.
Now, it is quite fun; I enjoy physical existence more because I know what it is like. To *know* that you are in this world but not of it. . . to *know* that it is empty. . . dare I say that it is like experiencing Nirvana in a lesser degree!
Reminds me of St. Francis of Assisi. He enjoyed the company of rich friends, partying and other pleasures. Then, the story says, he asked God for enlightenment, was guided little by little to help others and finally he renounced his wealth and founded his Order, and he died a holy man. Buddha's story is also a great example of realizing the empty nature of physicality.