No.21818
I really need help and can't get it.
I am redpilled but other redpills hate me because I am also a degenerate subhuman due not to choice but really poor health.
I've obsessed over diet and exercise and so on forever but I am still mediocre as fuck.
Nobody wants me to be part of their community and I do not enjoy anything, my senses are badly damaged, and I'm starting to go blind. I have the screen super close to me right now and everything is a blur and I can't see anything right and my eyes are constantly strained.
I am nothing but a burden on society and don't have any money.
There is really little I can do and I am having trouble reading the books due to my progressing blindness.
If I was born into a better body and more fortunate circumstances I could have done so much. I am trying to help myself but I have struggled for years now and made very little progress.
I need someone else to intervene on my part. I need to visit a healer or something, someone that can correct my problems, so I can continue studying and do something with my life and achieve the high and noble goals of an occultist.
I can't do this alone. I am not strong enough and my situation is desperate. I am really close to just committing suicide soon as in pic related.
No.21819
Also I'm afraid of that whole "you reincarnate into practically the same sort of body and circumstances again and the only real progress you can make has to be made now in this life". I don't want to die but I feel like I am already dying anyways. It fucking sucks because I haven't had nearly enough time to work everything out and I've been so fucking handicapped by my body that I can't do basic shit others do easily.
;_;
No.21820
What's wrong with your eyesight?
No.21826
>>21825
Even this post I made, all the words are blurred as I look at it, it's really damned awful.
No.21827
>>21820Everything is just blurry and out of focus, even if I close one eye and look with just the other, or have things up really close, or squint and strain things. I keep trying to read on my tablet and it's really fucking hard because the words are constantly out of focus and I'm constantly looking at blurred words.
It got really bad because a few days ago I got trolled really hard by some people who really fucked with me on a deep level and I felt all my chakras had been poisoned and I've been experiencing extremely bad health since then (and my health is poor in general). I had been invoking water (previously, as in months ago, I did Fire and Earth) in order to be more receptive to external influences and connect with others empathetically but then a series of unfortunate events culminated in some very bad influences and extreme stress getting to me.
I feel absolutely awful right now. I thought it would be safe to invoke water because for awhile I was around some really nice, lovely people… that honestly gave me good vibes and made me feel better. Shit happened though and I ended up talking for hours with previous people I have known a long time that are really toxic to me spiritually and yeah, my eyesight is going to shit now. Also my hands and face are all fucked up and a little bit of the upper part of my neck.
Surprisingly, some parts of my body were way better than normal about 12 hours ago.
…but the region of my head and my hands are being fucked with terribly right now and the head in particular is extremely critical.
No.21829
>>21825
>Also my hands and face are all fucked up and a little bit of the upper part of my neck.
By that do you mean a nasty rash? i seem to get strange rashes and marks all over my hands when i am around a lot of people i hang out with.
Anyway take this book, i remember it was being tossed around on the eye sight thread a while ago.
No.21836
>>21829A huge cluster of skin problems including acne and many other issues with the skin keep occurring to me.
No.21839
>>21836Damn, we're gonna have to find out some kind of defense against this stuff, it's a pain spending a few days to go over and heal it.
No.21852
>>21818the red-pill alleviates, but you are the cure
I was once addicted to fapping to trap porn and every time I spilled my loosh I would feel a bit bad, worse after I was red-pilled knowing that I was fapping to dudes with make-up
what I did to cure myself is reverse subliminal messaging by fapping to /hebe/ crotch shots and going on /christian/ once a week to remind me the pursuit of the best happiness on earth which is family (I never had one go figure)
No.21862
Hi OP. I'm sure I can help you. Kind of an emotional utterance to say. But it's true. (Of course something must be done though).
If you respond or we talk here first we can have a look at it.
No.21863
I really hope you respond. I understand what you mean. I can open up some things and do that in the correct manner. It should work.
No.21864
People like you could be really important too. So I really hope something can be done.
No.21866
No.21868
>>21827http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfJTwYRPlEoHEADPHONES ON
SHUT YOUR EYES
CONCENTRATE ON YOUR INNER SELF TO HEAL
GET HEALED BY SATAN
No.21876
So you can't do mahasamadhi?
No.21880
most illnesses can be cured with fasting.
No.21881
>>21862>>21863>>21864Actually, I'm looking for dedicated people like you at the moment for something important.
No.21890
>>21868It feels kinda silly /like/
No.21892
>>21863I can hardly see your text, it's all a fucking blur ;_;
No.21893
I stopped eating last night and haven't ate anything since but I still feel terrible, my eyesight is shit, etc. going to just put on those Delta Healing IV beats things and go in my room and just listen.
No.21905
>>21868Just finished the whole vid (1 hour) while laying on the floor in a quiet room just listening to it.
I don't feel any better and my eyesight doesn't seem to have improved.
Even did pranayama while listening.
…all it did was allow me to hear sounds inside my body much easier than usual.
No.21907
Maybe 1 hour isn't enough time for appreciable results I don't know.
No.21908
>>21818read your post
>grass is greener bullshitit doesn't matter how many handouts you get they will not solve YOUR problem
No.21909
>>21908So I'm just going to die?
No.21911
Try these
https://mega.co.nz/#F!uggzTIyB!2PTrOIpwlNXIlz-s5Vt89wimmunity helps with health, golden orb is healing meditation. Chakra clearing is good in general so is kundalini rising, muerte is shamanic death realm journeying
No.21912
>>21911Everything you just linked is sounds files. Is there any important stuff I'm supposed to when listening to them? Should I do pranayama? Any visualizations? Throat vibrations (kind of like cat purring)? Just keep the mind silent and listen?
What do I do to resonate properly with this music?
No.21913
I really need my eyes fixed, it's fucking up my ability to read through the books, and acquire more esoteric knowledge.
No.21914
>>21912There should be pdf files on instructions on what to do while listening.
On the chakra tracks he says where to focus your attention at the start of each section, same for the golden orb and a few others, the kundalini one has instruction tracks before each track I think.
No.21915
>>21909that might help your situation
I am unsure if this is a troll thread, it seems unlikely that someone would be as dense as you
No.21918
>>21915>complaining that a degenerate man whose bodily organs are basically failing all over the place is denseI can barely think and I struggle to see your words.
Which of your things should I do first?
I'm not trolling, I just did 1 hour of pranayama while listening to that guys thing, while laying on the floor in a specially prepared room with no distractions.
In the absence of a suggestion I think I will do…. golden orb healing meditation first.
>immunity helps with healthWhat are you talking about here? That one mp3 that's just by itself? What do I do with it, just listen?
No.21919
It's about to be night-time soon, some kind of deep rest sleep well thingy would be great right now, if you have one.
No.21921
Does The Art of Seeing exist in an audiobook format?
It seems like a major troll to me that I have to read this book while my eyesight is terrible.
No.21924
>mfw if this keeps up all I'll ever be able to do is listen to audibooks
No.21925
I wish I could have a pecan pie right now.
No.21933
I am really tempted right now to just meditate upon the creation and consumption of a pecan pie. I am trying hard to read through a book though with the font made as big as possible.
No.21938
Maybe I will cycle every other hour to be an hour of pranayama, meditation, etc. and then the hours inbetween for eating, reading, or exercise… and sleep whenever I can too, resuming the hourly cycling, upon waking.
No.21940
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
Wild Belle - Keep You (Ticklah Remix)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4PV5EvezIsAlpha as fuck.
No.21943
Do there exist any binaural beats to increase concentration and absorption so I can force myself through these books really fucking fast before my eyesight fails completely?
No.21944
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
Focus & Study I + Rain (One Hour Binaural, Isochronic Beats for improved memory, reading, spelling)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIbtQuZjmoYFocus & Study I (One Hour Binaural & Isochronic Beats for improved memory, reading & spelling)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_Zp4OhNC78Gonna play these and rip through
2014serieslessons.
Now I need to find a sleep one though, seeing as I need to go to sleep.
No.21945
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qiDXo67UMQ&list=PL9A1FC6E179E322A3Aw yeah, a whole bunch for sleep, gonna try to read a bit while longer than put a sleep thing on.
No.21960
>>21945Useless. 1 hour later and still wide awake as fuck.
No.21961
I've obsessed over diet and exercise and am now impressive AS FUCK
Who else knows THIS feel?
No.21967
>>219602 hours later, still wide awake as fuck
>>21961Why does absolutely nothing I do ever work? I can't fucking sleep right, breath right, I get injured doing exercises, I can't force myself to feel good, I feel like complete shit, and I can hardly read or see now.
No.21968
>>21967Go find a good chiropractor and acupuncturist
No.21969
>>21968What for? They better treat me for free because I don't have any money.
No.21970
>tfw decide to look at porn and try to will my dick to get hard and can't
I'm such a fucking impotent failure oh my gawd.
No.21972
No.21973
>>21972I don't even have money for food and am presently fasting unintentionally.
No.21976
>>21973Then get to the soopkichin or get outside and start using those eyes to track down squirrels to eat. lrn2survive
No.21980
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
KAMASUTRA NIGHTS ☩ Morfou Remixhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCHO34SLaFgSlight boner acquired.
No.21981
>>21976Tomorrow I get moar food but I still have to wait approximately… 13 hours until then.
No.21982
>>21981-food stamps
>http://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/supplemental-nutrition-assistance-program-snap-food pantry/soup kitchen
>http://www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank/>http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/foodbanks/-shelter + room&board
>http://www.wwoof.net/(You work about 4 hours a day on a farm with a community. In turn you get housing,Food,wifi,some cash,etc. You pay with your work and that is the trade off.)
>Ideas like holding aliens at gunpoint for ransom because you have no cash for buss fair isn't very nice btw. Just an FYI! Especially when that alien is just as poor and has no trust fund. No.21983
>>21982Hey, if the alien ain't gonna be cordial and talk with me awhile and share his knowledge and superior insights and help me out some, might as well jack him for some food/money.
>implying USA>implying I can just work on a farm in the dead of winter No.21985
>>21983You are not to be trusted.
No.21987
>>21985You can trust me to be incompetent in my endeavours. I'm not sure what it is you want to trust me with though.
>tfw really bad fatigue and strain right now and I haven't exercised at all in a whole week No.21988
It's a fine night tonight and I miss you ♥ Morfou Mix 2014https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T87uqAHbhIU No.21989
>>21987>>21987>You can trust me to be incompetent in my endeavors.Like holding people at gun point? Please be sure to leak all your plans!
No.21991
>>21989Dude, I don't hold people hostage with a gun, I hold them hostage with my raving madness.
No.21992
No.21993
>>21992Ok I'll be honest, I don't do shit, and I don't bother any people at all. I just keep to myself and am too weak and degenerate to do anything while I wait for more food. Also aliens kick my ass all the time and I never win in a fight against them.
No.21994
“Know, O disciple! that those who have passed through the
silence, and felt its peace, and retained its strength, they long
that you shall pass through it also. Therefore, in the Hall of
Learning, when he is capable of entering there, the disciple will
always find his master.”
No.21995
>>21993>>21994I look forward to what's to come. :)
No.21997
>>21995I am in rehabilitation, please, no rope. I honestly want to become better I just am fucking broke.
No.21999
>>21997False beggar trap.
No.22000
>>21999What the fuck are you talking about?
>>21998Man, I just want to live and eat and grow.
No.22002
>>22000You pretend that you need help. Then you do terrible things.
No.22004
>>22002Oh man, that stuff in your pic, I had 1,000 calories worth of that just 2 days ago.
I honestly do need help you know.
I generally don't have what it takes to do terrible things just because I'm so weak. The worst thing I do is vampirism but I've learned from experience there's no point in doing it in situations where the person you take from will come back to you.
Why?
Every time you steal someone's loosh through direct vampirism, hijacking their chakras, etc. they feel they've lost something that they need to get back from you on a subconscious level. So I find these people almost without fail begin to start acting up in some manner or other to get the stolen loosh back from me.
However, vampirism in a crowd with thousands of people is a great way to energize the fuck out of yourself and never have to deal with the fall out.
Cats btw, if you can find any, are a great source of loosh. All you have to do is pet them and they start purring and giving you free loosh. Those little carnivores are bustling with energy.
What terrible things do you think I do?
Want me to steal your loosh for keks?
Nah, I don't want the trouble.
Someone please heal my eyesight.
;_;
No.22005
>>22004Oh and a great example of vampirism gone awry.
>go in the skype group on skype>some of the wizards there talking about trading / taking / giving loosh>one guy says he'll give me free loosh or at least I think he did>focus on him>take the loosh>he gets too drained>he starts taking loosh from anyone he can in response>vampires, vampires everywhere>it all snowballs on skype and we crash hard high on loosh for a bit until everyone ultimately is exhausted>activity dies down as everyone right now needs to regenerate their loosh…and that's why vampirism doesn't pay off kids.
No.22052
>>22004
>Every time you steal someone's loosh through direct vampirism, hijacking their chakras, etc. they feel they've lost something that they need to get back from you on a subconscious level. So I find these people almost without fail begin to start acting up in some manner or other to get the stolen loosh back from me.I tried this once and had very similar results
Tell me plz where u learned this, and the best techniques
No.22106
>>22052>do chakra meditations>learn to move energy around from your energy centres (chakras)>now just do the same thing on another person>congrats, you hijacked their chakrasEasily exploitable for some of the most hardcore black magick ever… or you can use it positively too.
No.22114
>>21892>>21862>>21863>>21864>>21881>>21892Just saw your response. I think I have something that you might find interesting. I think we might have to go to an IRC.
No.22121
>>21818You seem very paranoid and suggestible OP.
Until you gain control of yourself on a more mundane level I suggest toning down the occult experimentation.
Do banishing rituals and practice some sitting and breathing exercises, but first eat a decent meal with protein iron and vitamins then go for a long walk out in the fresh air, ideally in some natural sunlight.
Staying indoors in front of a computer in poor light with a shit diet or inadequate food can cause vision issues.
You may legitimately have some health issues, in which case if they don't start to alleviate seek out a GP to rule out mundane physical causes.
I suspect most of your issues are psychosomatic, whether caused by your own mental issues or people messing with you, through mundane or magickal means.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_mMySuw4Aw No.22251
>>22121>implying mundane shit makes any difference at all