trapped

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File: 1431553496939.jpg (653.58 KB, 900x900, 1:1, 1429724476175.jpg)

trapped 05/13/15 (Wed) 21:44:56 No.38439

I feel trapped.

It's not a sad feeling, it's a scary one that looms over me and has to remind me that it's there, that it's alive.

I feel trapped in this society

I arrived here a year ago to re-try, to "live again" with my grandparents, but nothing's changed, I didn't get a job or make friends. Each second I spend free from society is a second I spend forgotten by it, each second spent forgotten is an investment towards losing any means of survival.

But I don't like it, I don't want to speak their language or learn their mentality, their religion and culture is foreign to me, it's honestly repulsing me on a deep level.

I feel trapped in this room

I barely leave it, except when I am called by my family to eat. Or decide to walk out, scared of staying like this forever.

But if I do get out of the house, where would I go? It's all concrete as far as the eye can see, and there's the people, oh the people, they will think evil of me, they might do evil to me, what's stopping them?

I feel trapped in this body

I barely move, either sit or take a few steps from place to place, like some kind of automation.

I tried joining a gym on the measly money I had, I stopped going, too afraid of making a commitment.

I feel trapped in this mind

I can't control it, I can't force it to stick to any routine, to do anything in time. At best I'll do a few days of half assed attempts, to go back to doing nothing.

It's scared of people. Sometimes it starts feeling shit out of nowhere. Sometimes it repeats to me that this isn't real, looks at everything from a third person, how can it be after all? I never interact with the surroundings in a meaningful way, it would only make sense for me to feel as if watching a movie.

I feel trapped in this reality

All of this is caused by nature, which is part of this reality, can't escape how you were set out to be, the rules that are set out in stone.

Sure, there's astral projection, but to achieve it, I have to master myself, to master myself I have to read hundreds of pages on the subject and then do the related exercises for months if not more. And to do this, I need to alredy have at least a minimum of self control and freedom.

I'm not whining, I don't feel sad because of this, I feel crushed yes, but not saddened.

05/14/15 (Thu) 00:06:09 No.38475

You've probably heard this before, but it sounds like you have depression.

Other than the standard "Stay away from the fucking medication", i dont really have any advice for you.

Hope you get your shit sorted out.

05/14/15 (Thu) 01:38:47 No.38479

File: 1431567527396.jpg (464.12 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, come_home.jpg)

Maybe you're broken on the inside. Some people are never going to be happy, you just happen to be one of them. You feel drained all the time, even the things you used to enjoy now are faded and tiring.

There's only one way out.

05/14/15 (Thu) 02:34:14 No.38482

File: 1431570854827.gif (490.85 KB, 500x270, 50:27, 26069498-500-270.gif)

>>38479

>There's only one way out.

AFTER YOU! IT'S ONLY POLITE! You first!

05/14/15 (Thu) 02:47:32 No.38489

The problem isn't your circumstances. That is not the source of your suffering. The source of your suffering is the desire and wanting that you circumstances would bear fruit which they by rights cannot cultivate. I have the same circumstances as you. I don't suffer even to the smallest degree. I do not desire.

05/14/15 (Thu) 02:49:00 No.38490

>>38475

>It sounds like you have depression

Can we all just talk about the fact that NAMING and DESCRIBING something does NOTHING to treat it. Not even a little bit. If you don't know how to treat something satisfactorily, you should be silent about advising anyone.

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:07:53 No.38499

>>38479

People should just give themselves up to possession instead of committing suicide. Evoke demons or other entities until one of them completely takes over.

sage 05/14/15 (Thu) 04:08:09 No.38500

It starts with small talk. Sharing something with other people in the society, that you can make fleeting, small connections over. Reading the newspaper, watching a sport, or TV show, or something. You have to change, the world won't. Astral projection won't make you friends.

Yes, society sucks. Yes, they are all dumb. No, they don't spend all their time learning shit on the intertubes, and so you live in a different world then them. They won't come to your world, you have to slowly live in theirs.

You won't lose what makes you special, or what makes you you. You will become well-rounded. Able to talk small stuff, but always offer the mystery of someone who knows more.

Small talk isn't about the topic. Of course small talk is boring and pointless if you focus on the words being said. It's the temporary alignment of minds, the beginnings of empathy, which are important.

Seriously, go watch a baseball game or something, and talk to people about it. Or whatever. That's what gets you involved in your surroundings. It's all on you, not them.

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:11:49 No.38501

>>38500

>Astral projection won't make you friends.

Pfft. I met people through the astral and became friends with them. Say what you will but the astral is the perfect way to meet exactly the people you are in resonance with.

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:14:48 No.38502

>>38439

OP just check out the meditations thread for now and start doing what you can in there then return to the reading and forget about society, it actually eats your time and kills you, as long as you got decent food and sleep and air and can practise you're good to go.

sage 05/14/15 (Thu) 04:17:48 No.38506

>>38501

Yeah…. you are in perfect resonance with them because… it's people you met in your head.

When I argue with straw-men in my head, I always win. When I meet friends in my head, they always know exactly what to say. Funny how that works….

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:18:06 No.38507

File: 1431577086213.jpg (64.45 KB, 500x503, 500:503, 1400468600527.jpg)

>>38500

People don't make anything better. Just because you're autistic doesn't mean the rest of the world is.

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:19:21 No.38508

File: 1431577161157.png (128.41 KB, 250x250, 1:1, 12312312313213321.png)

>>38500

I hate small talk.

sage 05/14/15 (Thu) 04:21:57 No.38509

>>38508

Yeah, so did I. Then I got a life, and some real friends, who I can trust with shit, and lean on, and stuff.

Small talk is a small price, a small pain, a negligible expenditure of time and effort. The first step to bringing your identity and ego out of virtual reality, into your immediate geographic vicinity.

Try talking to old people. They grew up in a different world. It's like time-travelling. If you don't like small-talk, jump straight into big-talk and accept the consequences of scaring most people away. You might still end up catching someone.

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:23:21 No.38510

File: 1431577401673.jpg (231.28 KB, 959x877, 959:877, dali.jpg)

>>38509

go eat a bag of dicks

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:24:56 No.38511

File: 1431577496894.jpg (80.55 KB, 460x619, 460:619, 68460619.jpg)

>>38509

Could you try projecting your social skill problem louder? I can't hear you!

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:32:36 No.38513

File: 1431577956601.jpg (200.62 KB, 732x1000, 183:250, Alex_Grey.jpg)

>>38506

>it's people you met in your head.

Fedora fucking tipped.

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:41:38 No.38515

>>38511

lol upvote

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:43:05 No.38516

>>38506

*tips fedora*

How do you explain then that… after meeting with them in the astral we arranged to meet in person or trade contacts online and after doing so it turned out to be real people who could also recall the visit with me in the astral?

Believe it or not you stupid mundane, while you're busy rotting away in ignorance, some of us much more advanced wizards are actually holding meetings in the astral and doing shit you deem impossible.

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:43:30 No.38517

>>38509

Fuck off normie!

05/14/15 (Thu) 04:45:17 No.38518

>>38516

Oh and also some of those people I met in the astral I told about /fringe/ and for all I know they might be browsing this very thread as we speak. If anyone here remembers meeting a wizard in the astral / "in a dream" and being told about /fringe/ before they got here you can pipe up now to back me up on this.

05/14/15 (Thu) 05:11:34 No.38524

>>38518

If you ever told me. I was probably like.. shut up bitch, i've been here for years. https://freedomboard.kirara.ca/

sage 05/14/15 (Thu) 05:12:10 No.38525

Wow, everyone here is acting like fedora's aren't cool. Aren't they? AREN'T THEY?? Fuck.

>>38511

Yes, what OP is talking about "resonates" with me. That's why I posted. You are the most correct person in this thread.

>>38516

Are you sure you weren't just on ICQ or IRC or something? This definitely happened in the spirit realm? Or you aren't relating some strangers anecdotes as though they happened to you personally, out of desperate hope of one day it will happen to you if you just believe?

05/14/15 (Thu) 12:38:07 No.38563

>>38490

Except that the multitudes of treatments for depression are wildly subjective and depend on the person.

i could tell him to take cold showers.

i could tell him to change his diet.

i could tell him to work out more.

i could tell him to stop being a pussy.

i could tell him a lot of things that ultimately mean squat because they all depend on him actually doing something suitable to himself rather than following the methods other people have tried.

the main purpose of that post was to indentify his possible problem so he could hopefully find he solution suited for him and to offset the inevitable "kill yourself" posts.

05/14/15 (Thu) 12:41:29 No.38564

>>38563

Maybe the problem is his life.

Maybe the solution suited for him is killing himself.

It's inevitable, why fight it?

05/14/15 (Thu) 19:07:25 No.38595

File: 1431630445983.jpg (34.43 KB, 500x305, 100:61, tietoinenläsnäolo.jpg)

You are in a trap of your own mind, own making.

Come back to now, come back to reality, my friend.

05/14/15 (Thu) 22:29:30 No.38613

>>38525

>Are you sure you weren't just on ICQ or IRC or something? This definitely happened in the spirit realm? Or you aren't relating some strangers anecdotes as though they happened to you personally, out of desperate hope of one day it will happen to you if you just believe?

No you fucking moron I am NOT retarded and I know the difference between a fucking IRC and the astral. I'll see you in the astral when you stop being a mundane sack of shit as will the others.

05/14/15 (Thu) 23:04:52 No.38621

>>38506

Can do do a little guide on it? With green text preferably.

05/15/15 (Fri) 01:59:32 No.38673

lel there's a tendency on /fringe/ to try to deny reality. I always find it funny. "I can travel through realms beyond your imagination, and I have so much power in there. Yet I can't keep a conversation for more than five minutes".

It seems obvious that all the magick in the world is pointless if you're incapable of existing rightfully in this world but I see so many here ignoring that.

tldr: Magick is not your next hugbox of epic maymays stop trying to use it as such.

>>38439

The answer to your thread is somewhere in this op

05/15/15 (Fri) 02:50:45 No.38676

>>38613

> I am NOT retarded

Are you sure?

05/15/15 (Fri) 03:28:17 No.38690

>>38676

YES I am SURE! You must be retarded though if you think someone could mistake an IRC for a meeting up in the astral. We have lots of resources on /fringe/ for you to learn astral projection, why don't you do it? It'll open you up more than anything to a truly amazing new level of reality you didn't know about previously.

05/15/15 (Fri) 03:28:43 No.38691

>>38673

Back to >>>/tulpa/ psychological materialist scum.

05/15/15 (Fri) 03:33:15 No.38695

>>38691

>implying

05/15/15 (Fri) 03:49:01 No.38700

>>38695

>hurr durr magick is limited to a few lame ass tricks and self-motivation and whatever it is your mundane mind recognizes as valid

>has apparently never witnessed any hardcore magick before

05/15/15 (Fri) 04:02:33 No.38706

>>38700

>still implying.

I didn't say none of it nor did I imply it. I advise you to study more, young one.

05/22/15 (Fri) 08:22:10 No.40371

File: 1432282930384.jpg (135.71 KB, 230x255, 46:51, 1431903632408.jpg)

Op ,I know that feel.

Did you ever consider that this is some sort of psychic initiation?

That you are being prepared for something far greater?

That you have to learn the hard way ?

That you are being forged through this crushing circumstances by forces that know more about you than you know about yourself?

Accept this pain op its a part of your spiritual evolution.

05/22/15 (Fri) 13:06:45 No.40394

you know OP,that there isn't any 100% treatment/cure for your problem.

I am not sure if this will work for you but,try it out.Give it some time.

You came here,trying to change right?

>I arrived here a year ago to re-try, to "live again".

It won't be easy,rebuilding is never easy.

>But I don't like it, I don't want to speak their language or learn their mentality, their religion and culture is foreign to me, it's honestly repulsing me on a deep level.

OP,you went to that location to start again right?there's no way to start again without participating in that new environment.If you can't love them,at least think about your health(financial,& mental).

Your grandparents….

they are your family there,right?

Spend time with them,help them,live with them,that will get you started.

Also invest time in yourself….

Take care of your physical health eat good food.

Spend your mental energy in books,math,music or games.

and after all this relax.

For your financial situation…

Even if you don't get hired continue to spread, your resume,it might take weeks or months but you will be called sooner or later .

I don't know if there is a sure fire way to change your situation,but if you don't put effort,if you don't try to change

nothing will improve. or get worse it will be the same empty day,rolling over and over.

Seek you family,take care of your mental & physical health,spend your energy,this is the best advice i can give.Good Luck.

05/22/15 (Fri) 15:16:10 No.40420

>>40371

>saving a thumbnail

RHP faggotry; not even once.