Hellos.
I would wish to convy some of my thoughts to you. I would like to question why you all do what you do. Why must you strain and cause yourself to suffer by forcing yourself into these trials you and your systems you decided to follow out of this blind faith that you may reach something. You have reached this place because you have decided to question those around you but I think you have forgotten to question your teachings and yourself. I respect that most of you wish to seek to better yourself. That is fine, but why must you cast yourselves from what you to further just mimic the things you read in your books and online.
I think your conflict resides in the fact that you think you may obtain something from your ordeals. that you will become "enlightened" or to reach a higher state than another. Why would that matter whom you become for you are merely a reflection of your environments both internal and external. This concept of following a so called "Path" has caused so much suffering in you don't you see that?
All I do in my life is life a very simple life. I do what I need for survival and emerse myself in a few recreations as a reward for work. I can say that I am nothing. Just the common man. I breathe, eat, work, communicate, help others, and sleep. I may not be happy I may not feel anything but I know that I am not suffering.
That is the most important thing. I do not expect "enightenment." For why would something that is infaliable and absoulte like something that is "Holy" which comes from the root that which is whole be obtained through time? As one tries to search for this, one seperates themselves from something else fragmentation, which is certainly not absoulte and "Holy." So the very quest you are commencing in is the very thing which is what is keeping you away from peace and wholeness.
I just wish to convey this to you and wish you all well in your endeavors. take care of yourselves and be well.