/fringe/ - Fringe

I feel stupid. I have bought a decent amount of books over the last 2,5 years, but I've read very little of it. I just read a book about communism and a book about science, and I felt stupid, didn't understand much. I hate myself. Fuck this world.

>>62506

Take it slow. And take as much time as you need. Life is not a race and the only one you can compare yourself to is yourself. Try to find some lectures as they may fit you better than books.

Feeling stupid is stupid (:

We have expansion (yang) and contraction/integration (yin) phases just like nature does with its seasons.

One cannot reasonably expect to be constantly expanding.

Khan is right.

Slow and steady wins the race is a phrase for a reason; people tend to burn themselves out otherwise.

>>62508

>Try to find some lectures as they may fit you better than books.

When I read that I feel like punching you in the face.

No, I feel that the whole thing is meaningless, empty. I'm fed up with knowledge, it's materialistic, it's for those that aren't chosen, and I'm the chosen one. I think death is the only thing that's meaningful.

>>62520

I feel that contraction is the only real initiation. Loving is a sign of being unevolved. Think about it, I'm serious. The least evolved people love the most, are the most socially adapt, have the most children, have the least problems with the opposite sex and with their parents. Etc. I feel that the fact that I am a total hater and loser is what makes me chosen.

>>62521

I see. This is one of those things where you're going to need to mentally work things out. Keep pondering over it. I'll assure you that with time you will pull yourself out of this. There's not much I can say at this point other than you'll need to do the work.

>>62521

If you say so

The tinker tinks

The prover, proves

I belive that I am in this plane of existence to learn something, I has been very existentialist, but if you believe that there's is not reason, we'll it would not

Were you focus your mind is were you will head it.

I am taking it slowly after a rough start and trying to make a dialy routine, I am a meditator and meditation is easy for me but there is so much material that is hard to fit in a routine

Now I am focus in breading and after this I will go for psiquick defence

>>62523

kek

OP what do you mean by "spiritual awakening"? What exactly did you learn? And how did it go downhill?

I think you might just be lost as to what you want at the moment, perhaps you should sit down and think about your goals right now. Even if you think you know, sometimes when you actually start writing things down you realize you're all over the place and don't have your ideas clear.

>>62523

>I feel that the fact that I am a total hater and loser is what makes me chosen.

I don't deny your feeling, but you are incorrect.

The way is to find the center, to transcend duality.

By being apart in that fashion, you may have an easier time letting go of some attachments, and that is the advantage. But hate is just the other end of love, and no less binding/unevolved. In fact it is less evolved in a way, because hate is transformed into love when one advances.

(I've learned this from Osho's Book of Secrets and experience)

Unless you want to see the entire world in a certain way, I would not progress in that way. If you've evolved beyond love, then perhaps that is your path. However, it is likely that path would destroy you, when you encounter the part of yourself that did not accept that/anyone strong enough but loving enough to destroy you.

The "chosen" like Jesus and Buddha loved.

>>62521

he

>>62525

is right.

>>62521

Then die.

http://quittingadderall.com/running-with-bruce-lee-quote/

If you truly felt so, then you would already be dead.

You are here because you do not believe you are right. If death is the answer, why is there life?

Perhaps you want to die to the world and be a renunciant.

Who is to say what you are other than you.

There have been plenty who have believed as you do, and many of us have also been there.

Everyone has to find their own answer. Death is merely an escape, and you'll probably just come back reincarnated.

Rolled 7 (1d13)

>>62539

perhaps "not fully correct" rather than incorrect. Anyone here is chosen to some extent, to receive this knowledge.

You seem as one surrounded by food, but refusing to eat ever again because you stuffed yourself and see others doing so, and got sick of it.

But in doing so, you've merely become the opposite of what you were, and living in such a polar manner usually just means you'll go to the other side again. It is the nature of duality.

>>62540

(and I rolled the center. fantastic)

>>62521

>When I read that I feel like punching you in the face.

Maybe you should find a lecture about proper breathing technique so that you don't feel like that.

Or if a lecture is too hard you could watch a wikihow youtube video.

When people consume Occult material, one of two things appear:

1. The knowledge enters your brain or,

2. The knowledge enters your heart

When I talk about the heart, I talk about an open heart chakra.

You must take digest this material with the intention to leave your humanity behind and escape the cycle of reincarnation.

The material is not designed to make you superhuman, which is what many try to do with it, and it consumes them. Humanity is a mental illness. Trying to expand it is like expanding that illness.

Occult knowledge is designed to make you leave your humanity entirely.

When you go into this with a pure intention, you will prevail.

What does pure intention mean?

You just want to know. Nothing else. You don't want to know just to look cool to your friends or to sound smart or to "rule the world" or some mundane human shit.

You want to know just to know. To get to the next level.

Everything that is wrong with your life is because of your humanity.

>>62552

sounds legit

I went into it with intentions of advancing,

knowing,

assisting others.

maybe I should leave behind the last one and not be bodhisattvic

>>62553

>maybe I should leave behind the last one and not be bodhisattvic

Though assisting others becomes a part of the journey to everlasting light for many, I think it's entirely possible that it isn't necessary. In fact, it's entirely possible you may be screwing yourself over by doing that. Just ideas though.

You could ask yourself whether your intention to assist others is coming from your humanity or the higher self.

>>62557

I feel like it's both, but I won't know until I reach a certain point.

So, probably best to forget helping others unless they come to me in a certain way/seeking answers, for now.

That's a good thing for me to keep in mind, thanks.

>>62540

>perhaps "not fully correct" rather than incorrect

Even though I seem to have gone downhill, I have learned a lot of things in these 2,5 years. One is to totally disregard when someone says I'm incorrect or not enlightened, or judges what degree of enlightenment I have etc. For anyone to do that correctly they'd have to be more enlightened than me, and who are they or you to know that, thus to judge… I have gotten really fed up with new agers over these years I must say.

>>62538

By spiritual awakening I mean that a spiritual desire was born, and perhaps some other things like a somewhat different outlook/attitude etc. It went downhill because I feel hopeless etc. The only thing I know that I want is liberation from myself and the world, other than that I don't want anything at all. Life is tough when you're like that. I'm 31 and I've only had menial jobs. Right now I'm unemployed again. But as I said I don't care about things like career, but I want to get a job of course.

>>62564

I mean, being a hater doesn't make you any more chosen than anyone. Everyone is chosen, and the most widely recognized people deemed chosen weren't haters.

But yes, that is why I said not fully correct rather than incorrect. Although once one reaches a certain level of development they actually know how enlightened someone else is.

For one thing, their aura changes, supposedly.

Almost nothing is fully objective.

>>62521

>When I read that I feel like punching you in the face

Behead those who threaten Khan

Shit nigger, what kind of spiritual awakening did you have were you want to punch people who offer you simple advice?

>I had begun using cannabis

lol, okay that kind of "awakening".

No idea how occult knowledge would bring anyone down, unless you mean redpill/conspiracy stuff. That brings everyone down. The greenpill offers a way back up.

>>62590

Doesn't change anything I said. You are stupid.

>>62603

I already explained, you clearly didn't read the thread.

>>62606

>you are stupid

With this kind of attitude what exactly do you want to be? Are you not even aware of how bad this behavior is for you?

>>62539

>bruce lee running quote

Lol this is the kind of shit that makes people believe that just doing incredible amounts of extenuating effort will turn them into great people

This is why so many people (more than necessary) die every year running marathons, because they think "going over the limit" is the only thing they need to do in order to improve.

If you didn't have your head up Bruce Lee's ass you would think about checking with your doctor, same with all aspects of life I would expect. You are not an expert on anything so better try finding one that looks like an expert and asking them their professional advice.

Seriously, following those quotes blindly probably does more harm than it helps people. There is the quote and there is the substance, what we do these days is just drop the substance and keep the quote because "it sounds cool"

Come on, buddy. Get up and chase the sun. Don't roll around in the rocks, spitting at the people who are standing nearby. You'll only hit yourself in the face.

How old are you, little fish?

>>62606

"The only thing that's meaningful is death

Loving people are unevolved

Being spiteful makes you special

Getting information is a material pursuit"

It sounds like frustration more than truth. So what if you did break the camel's back so to speak, and so what if you were chosen for something and were given an optimism about things for a while? Now you don't and don't see it as a failing, because what you feel is that the new agers you're following are on a benign trip and you feel an anger they don't and can't understand.

When the guy in Quantum Men tapped into his frustration, did he give in to his rage, beating down the diluted hippies, despite how awkward it was quickly becoming? No. Now put yourself in his shoes. Not even Cristobel Jodorosky is going to help someone who radiates seething turmoil, and someone who radiated balance, honesty and compassion could have attracted that help from others.

>>62603

>weed. aha. reefer madness nigga lol. "awakening"? nah son you a dope fiend.

what's the use?

>>62606

you are not entirely incorrect, as I assumed that you missed the point rather than being ignorant. But, you basically said

>>62564

"I disregard people who disagree with me"

so yeah.

>>62523

">Loving is a sign of being unevolved."

">disregard when someone says I'm incorrect or not enlightened, or judges what degree of enlightenment I have etc. For anyone to do that correctly they'd have to be more enlightened than me, and who are they or you to know that, thus to judge… I have gotten really fed up with new agers over these years I must say."

So, you can judge other people as unevolved but they can't judge you?

>>62621

uh. I don't know where you went with that, but I was just telling him to die if he wants to.

the idea was "continue or die, don't bitch about it"

>>62622

(:

>>62729

"continue or die, don't bitch about it"

Not the greatest advice, seeing how many people are just willing to give up when the finishing line is literally only days or weeks of effort away.

Should we tell to all the people out there who can't find a meaning to life that they should just die if that's what they feel like doing? No, because we probably don't know what they want. It's up to them to learn, and since we can't tell how much have they tried to learn, then it's better to just suggest them to do some more learning.

Dying to me is like the last option you should consider. After you've worked your ass out, studying and practicing different systems, after you have exhausted what this world has to offer (which you probably couldn't do in one single lifetime). So no, please don't tell people to go die. If they want to die, it's because they lack motivation, they don't do things that make them feel alive. They need to search more, search harder, search with their soul/spirit rather than with their physical body/ego.

>>62745

He's getting the type of advice/support that he needs and he's complaining about people who know more than him telling him it's fine.

I'm going with the "don't do it half-assed" approach. Choosing a direction is a thing that needs to be done at some point. I do actually agree with the idea that it's my duty not to be riled up by the ignorant, so you're not wrong.

It's a case of being spiritually/mentally tired, a dark knight (unintentional but I'm leaving it) of the soul.

>>62557

why would this screw you?

bad karma for keeping people trapped in this hellscape prison matrix?