Do you have music that is special to you because it resonates with you? Melodies, vibes, that really work for you? Or maybe it's not music but field of research or paintings that stand for tradition that for some reason you crave to cherish and protect?
If not, stop masturbating, fix your diet and exercise, mediate, and come back to this post later.
If yes, sublimate this passion you have and empower it until you experience very strong desire to share, cherish, empower and protect it. At some point it becomes so strong you injure it in your mind's eye - not because you want to be a wizard, but because you enjoy the visual or auditory projections so much. They resonate with you and you are drawn to them like magnet.
Your passion becomes your drive, your energy that you learn magic through.
Many powerful wizards, like William-Adolphe Bouguereau or Leonardo da Vinci, developed godlike visualization abilities as a side effect of their total and utter obsession with what resonated with them - what they considered truth, and because of their powerful magic they manifested in their works, what is often our truth nowadays. In their notes you can read about their experiences of what can be generalized as astral travels or trance.