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File: 1458470443035.jpg (176.4 KB, 800x600, 4:3, 121334.jpg)

 No.72754

When I was 13-14, I fucked up hard.

It was during a very lonely and hermitical time of my life, I was opened to the world of computing and was learning all that I never could have before. So obviously I let my parents take care of my pets and I hardly ever took care of my own personal needs.

Then I was given a small brown rabbit, held in a cage as a gift. I had no time to take care of the rabbit, to play with it, to let it walk around the yard and let it inside the house during the cold winter nights. So I delegated this responsibility to my parents, like the irresponsible child I was.

That rabbit lasted a year of torment, /fringe/. The rabbit had slowly ate itself obese as it festered in its own excrement. It slowly died knowing it would never mate, never be free, and never know any kindness or pleasure other than eating itself unto it's death. It had eventually died during a freeze.

I am now 24, and have been dabbling in philosophy and esoteric ideation. I now find my own life to be a startling comparison to the last year of the rabbit's.

I have been forced to live in this same town, much smaller than I need to live and have a productive social life. I live a nocturnal life in which I work to support my mother and two sisters, and receive nothing for my 46+ hours of work. I have no friends, I have never had a relationship, and everyone my own age seems to have already married and had children. On top of that, the only pleasure I look forward to is eating. I'm not fat, yet, but I will be if I do not find the time to manage myself.

This life is torture, /fringe/, I have no freedom, no opportunity or pleasure, and I will likely die without mating. Just as the rabbit's life.

I have considered suicide, and have come to the conclusion that I would only end up on a deeper circle of this hell I have cast myself into.

How can I break such a curse?

 No.72759

Hey OP I have great difficulty loving food and loving eating. Teach me your ways so I may achieve the Union with food and increase my fat-reserves and grow vital and powerful through the love of food. I eat tremendous amounts of food dispassionately and consequently I feel that no matter how much I eat, no matter that I'm consuming about 300%-500% the DRV of fat every single day, I am lean like a skellington. Teach me to enjoy food, to love food, the art of food yoga…


 No.72760

aibi.pdf will teach you how to inedia btw


 No.72762

You are not cursed, you've simply fallen into the mundane trap that many people do. This isn't even /fringe/ material, more like /x/ if you're genuinely asking about a curse.

You've just got to improve your life as anybody else would. See >>>/improve/

While you're here, why not read the FAQ? Study and practice in your spare time.


 No.72763

>>72759

Why do you desire to love food? Bless your food, and love the nutrition it gives you, but leave it behind as soon as you can.

I know you posted all about love in the mundane thread, but food is something you can leave behind.


 No.72765

>>72760

This PDF just seems like wordplay. Maybe that's the point, and you find the real meaning while analyzing them, but I can't understand any of this. Although I am almost done an all-nighter…

There's really not any reason to suggest this to a mundane(?). Inedia should come after much enlightenment.


 No.72780

>>72759

>Getting fat from fat

Wont work. Fat is not stored as fat for whatever reason. You need a shitload of carbs and protein that your body will turn into its own fat stores.


 No.72805

The rabbit doesn't have anything to do with it.


 No.72878

>>72763

I need to love food for the time being until the time has come to leave it behind. The sacrifice of leaving something I love will grant me the strength to reach beyond it.


 No.72879

>>72765

It gives you, very formulaicly and simply, the means to achieve Inedia.

What's it telling you basically is you must maintain constantly a certain vital-desire to live and must by the concentrated effort of the will fill yourself with this vital-energy in the way of desire for life constantly while you endure the transition.

If you fuck up and feel a weakening of vital-desires then you will have to start over again.


 No.72978

Hold on for 6 more years and you will officially be a great wizard!


 No.73565

>>72754

>I have never had a relationship, and everyone my own age seems to have already married and had children.

don't be so concerned with others.

Find something you like to do and find a meetup.com group and go do it, or find someplace to go with people of shared interests.

Open your heart chakra and appreciate what you have, develop bhakti (divine love, love as if all your work is work you are doing for the god you find most beautiful, as if that god is within all that you see, are, and do, and along with physical work like yoga, you'll develop fast. first 4 chakras are the key to basic happiness.)

Your parents bought the rabbit for you despite you obviously not taking care of things. Blame is on all sides, and don't take responsibility for anything you don't have to. Just assume the being in the rabbit had that karma, don't take it on as your own; you'll create your own hell.

btw I'm 26, almost 27, and only started getting new friends and stuff like 8 months ago when I changed my life by running away from the kinda-NEET lifestyle I was in and volunteering my summer at a yoga retreat center. You'll be fine if you think you will be. might take awhile but you will.



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