/fringe/ - Fringe

>>86443

>Should I stay away from game-development so I don't use thousands of hours of my life into making models, animating them, skinning them, scripting them, etc. and likely never getting any kind of payback from it (health and mental abilities don't really improve, finances don't improve, social relationships don't improve, you just become sickly and die alone)?

Amateur game dev who hasn't worked in a long while here.

Do you enjoy these activities? If you get enjoyment out of them, it isn't time that is wasted. As for not getting anything out of them, That's true for playing them. As of making them, there's tons of potential there. If you make a product and it sells well, You've improved your finances. If you build a fanbase then your social relationships improve. If you impress a girl with the deep and engrossing narrative you weave within your game world, you won't die alone.

If you approach it from an esoteric perspective, the possibilities are endless. Why don't you try making a game that subtly greenpills its audience? You'll be building your esoteric skills and your gamedev skills at the same time.

Creativity in some systems is viewed as an act of majick unto itself, as you are channeling something through you and bringing it into the world where nothing existed before.

Lastly, is there a place where I could view some examples of your work? You sound like a pretty cool dude.

>>86443

I wouldn't say all videogames are, nor that all forms of entertainment are but to be careful that you do not end up consuming a game where you get little benefit, much repetition and a lot of anger each time you play. What I am talking about are those "free 2 play" games that require massive amounts of grinding, hours of repetetive meaningless grinding yes even MMOs fall into this category but I'm talking from personal experience about the armored combat f2p games especially War Thunder.

War Thunder.. a multiplayer game where you grind and grind and grind to unlock virtual WWII tanks and planes only so you can unlock the next one and as you go up in the tiers it takes exponentially longer to grind, you play the same matches over and over and over again with little deviation in how they play out, in the same repetetive style of combat and gameplay and for meager rewards at the end including vehicle Research Points that goes up slowly, I got sucked into it and all I got out of it are 470 total hours played and lot of stress.

I regret wasting all that time on it, for grinding for hours, and stressing myself over for what are essentially virtual tanks and planes that just exist in that game, and the developers are massive greedy fucks that go out of their way to artificially inflate the amount of time you spend on the game, grinding away in multiplayer battles with other people who are grinding for the same. Its the same with games like World of Tanks, and Armored Warfare and World of Warships, you get attracted to them because no other game like that exist that let you experience WWII battles like that, but the experience is ultimately shallow and the pursuit of later and later tier vehicles a massive time waster of which there is little benefit to you and a lot to the devs.

I regret all the hours spent on that virtual Skinner box, collecting virtual game currency, to spend on virtual vehicles that you only get with enough virtual research points of which you maybe earn 1-5k a 10-15 minute round on average of which some vehicles require 50,000+ RP. The most I ever grinded out was 75,000 RP which took an entire day of playing even with a premium account (bought during discount). When I saw what awaited me was more of the same - frustration and massive time spent with only a few geniune times I have fun or enjoy myself in the match I gafe up pursuing the later tier vehicles which are anywhere from 50,000 to up to 380,000 RP - fuck that.

I realized that these are games you play not for fun but for unlocking the next thing, the fun is just occasional but the anger is more constant as you find yourself not doing as well, your team sucks or your team are morons and the enemy steamrolls you and you waste 10 minutes and get little for it at the end of the match in terms of virtual currency and virtual research points.

Now then on the other hand theres Garrysmod, a fun game I've sunk over 800 hours into in both singleplayer and multiplayer (and thats mainly from 2008-2010) and although I dont play it as much I dont look back on those hours with total regret like I do War thunder, because I was always creating things, messing with props and models and posing, and exploring new user made maps, and playing multiplayer with others in a variety of fun gamemodes like zombie survivial on interesting creative new maps for hours and hours and it was all fun, you played the game or fun and to create things be they a scene, a few poses, contraptions and buildings, battles with NPCs etc, its a true sandbox, though a bit dated now.

In War thunder the only creative input you get are the decals and skins you place on your tank and plane, thats it.

>>86446

So then I think its important that you just make sure you are not wasting time on a game where you have neither fun nor creativity in huge amounts and the reward for all the time you spent is meager and fleeting. Like f2p games like War Thunder - avoid those like the plague you get sucked into them and come out only feeling empty inside, because you came in with the idea of experiencing all these epic WWII battles but the experience is ultimately shallow and repetetive and causes a lot of stress.

I enjoy videogames for the unique experiences afforded by them and the chance to let you express your creativity, as well as the fun and chaos you can have with others in multiplayer or  just by yourself in singleplayer. But yeah lately I have been feeling like they are inferior compared to the possibilities afforded you in lucid dreams, where you don't have the limits of modern day hardware and dont have to worry about framerate dipping and lowering graphics to adjust and all that stuff.

I've only had a few lucid dreams (only DILDs) but they are amazing experiences and lately I find myself wanting to play games that just dont exist, or that do exist but are not like I want. And meanwhile I sometimes have regular dreams of Battlefield like games, played out with others in a "server" but its all from the dream and they are better and more fun than any game of Battlefield I played. And for a while now I've wanted to put my efforts into lucid dreaming so I can experience something better than any videogame can deliver now, better than the expensive VR meme people have been caught up in.

And part of what got me to stop playing Grind Thunder (down to once or twice a week now) is realizing how shallow the experience is compared to what I could be experiencing with lucid dreams. How much of my time I was wasting on this virtual skinner box when I could be devoting that to meditation, to lucid dream practice, and reading/research. 470 hours wasted, over 3-4 years, if I had devoted that much time to lucid dreaming instead I would probably have come close to mastering it by now if I did it right.

Right now I'm back into more creative things like messing around with Source Filmmaker making posters, having fun posing and creating, with all the props, models and maps available online, its really easy if a bit tedious with the controls, and I've been looking at Unreal Engine 4 speed level design videos and being inspired to try out Unreal Engine 4 for myself to try and create my own levels but I'm wary now of being caught up in that and not just using the time to help me lucid dream and to meditate instead. Even UE4 you have to pay for good looking assets, you have to spend time learning how to do things, and while level design interests me I realize I want to do it more in a lucid dream environment rather than in a game engine, where there are many limitations of hardware and money, and since I dont plan on making a game I would ultimately be again wasting time on this instead of focusing on lucid dream research and practice and meditation.

Also OP you mention astral games and doing all this on the astral-mental planes, do you mean lucid dreams by that? I havent had any success with astral projection (probably cause all the time I wasted on vidya games) so my understanding of the astral is that you can reach it from a lucid dream or directly by meditation but you have limited control and input in there than you do in your lucid dreams, is that true or is my idea of it wrong?

Sorry for the wall of text.

As a material being it's more fun to experience something in the material. As linear time doesn't actually exist, I don't see why an experience would be a waste of time. Some experiences are there to teach life lessons, some are for survival and others for F U N. Just enjoy yourself, no need to overthink it.

Also nice redditspacing ITT

>>86446

>>86448

I just checked steam now and it turns out I vastly overestimated my game hours

War Thunder is 468

Garrysmod is 300

So War Thunder is my most played game in terms of hours at least on Steam, feels really shameful, I had way more fun in Garrysmod for less overall hours total than I did in War Thunder for all those 168 more hours.

>>86449

>redditspacing

What?

Playing video games can be interesting if it's an actually interesting game intellectually and not point and click NEETshit.

>>86452

>intellectually

That or creatively, or both as some might be, I agree.

>>86451

Writing

Like

This

You

Know

?

Polite

Sage

For

Being

Off

Topic

>>86443

>I feel like if I develop a game for fun, I might be wasting too much of my life, when I could put the same time into enchanting an object and building up my own astral realm and performing evocation and so on.

Well, why don't you do that, then?

Then you package your creation and distribute it to the common folk.

>>86459

One new line spacing is enough.

Two is too much.

>>86459

Multiplayer games can be fun and worthwhile experiences though, its just that spending so much time in a shallow multiplayer game is what should be avoided, so War Thunder for me and Dota 2 for your case.

I have hundreds of hours in Battlefield 4, Mount & Blade Warband, Red Orchestra 2, Garrysmod as mentioned just playing multiplayer alone and they were good times, had fun experiences with others, chaotic battles, unexpected shit, and creative new maps to play on for some of those.

But of course now I feel like ultimately further long hours in videogames (especially multiplayer) are indeed a waste and better spent trying to git gud at lucid dreaming so I can have the ultimate experience I want, any scenario I want, better than any videogame.

My brain is 1000000x better because of all the video games/music/porn/movies/tv shows/books/articles/forums I've read. I would be a boring simpleton fuck without all this stuff. Eventually you do need to "grow up" and go outside, but there is nothing wrong with enjoying life. That is the whole fucking point. Life, imo needs to be 50% fun 50% work. WIthout art why would somebody become a doctor for example? A doctor becomes a doctor to help people, yes, but at the end of the day when they are done working 50 hours they want to lay down in their room (designed by artists) in their mansion (designed by artists) and watch tv shows designed by artists.

Holy fuck just live life. There is a point to everything if you stretch your brain out enough. If somebody tells you video games are pointless then make it so they serve a purpose in your reality. My vision/reaction times improved like 50000% as I started mastering some first person shooters.

Right now some priest fuck is making like 100k a year to read people 2000000 year old books once a week. There are spoiled rich fucks who will never work a day in their life but have millions of dollars in the bank. There are stupid fucks dedicating their entire lives towards being a part of the american political system even though its a fucking sham. Do whatever you need to fucking do to get what you want out of life.

Why did you make the choice to do something and now you are like OMG WHAT SHOULD I DO!!! Do you want free will or not you stupid fuck? Every decision you ever made led you to where you are today. You are responsible for everything you have and will ever have. Let that sink in.

>>86443

Our job is not to be "out there" it is to be here, there are countless accounts from DMT users who have either been punished for going back too many times, or have been returned with the message that where we are presently is important, that we are here for a reason.

Yes, that includes creating things all things, all forms of novelty, including games. Mckenna was right all along, and the more people come back from hyperspace and confirm that we are in fact here for a specific purpose, the more convinced I am of novelty theory.

Stop using this as an excuse to pick apart your life, you are who you are for a reason, doing what you do for a reason, you are producing novelty in everything you do, no matter how small a scale it is. Your ego is what is preventing you from seeing this.

>>86443

Hey, I'm a WC3 player as well, how'd you personally start getting into the astral and stuff? I wanna play games in the astral too ;-;

>>86502

He means lucid dreaming I think, where you can with enough practice and effort have full and total control and live out your dream videogames in your dreams while still feeling and looking better than any physical videogame limited by modern hardware.

>>86493

ugh

>>86459

BananaSlamJamma has taught me much about DotA strategy. I'd say it is quite a valuable transferable skill. My thinking is much clearer and further ahead.

I find myself at odds with how stupid and inefficient people are around me. They have no concept of timing, planning, or threat assessment. They run around like chickens with no heads; unable to even begin determining the most valuable course of action. If they'd watch a little BSJ coaching, they'd stop being giant shitstains.

It also teaches calmness under fire. Which most people never develop.

They're an information medium like any other.

>>86459

Go read a book for a story. I fucking hate stories forcing their way into games. Games should be about being games not about telling lame ass stories.

>>86443

Dreaming games aren't as good as earthly games. I like being able to save games, and I like being able to replay them later. Sage because what's the point of this topic, anyways?