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File: 1433980488177.png (4.53 KB, 45x40, 9:8, b8cfe548b6782b2484fc55433b….png)

 No.43532

i need help bad. no matter what i do i just cant stop thinking about murder.

with every fiber of my being i feel an almost sensual hatred that spreads through out my body in surges.

every day of ever week i consumes my mind and body.

it has been like this for about 2 months now and no matter what i do it just grows and grows. i JUST CANT FUCKING FOCUS ANYMORE the endless repetition around me drives me insane. humans are not spirals starting small and growing big we are circles on an endless loop doomed to repeat the things that have happened before. no thought is original and no action is true. it is impossible for someone like me to break out of the circle it is impossible for someone like me to just let go of something. i just cant stop thinking about killing a very specific person. i go through the scenario over and over and over again to the point where ive even started to dream about it. i just cant escape from it.

 No.43535

i apologize for ranting.


 No.43540

>>43532

Should probably go on >>/edgy/, but whatever.

>it is impossible for someone like me to break out of the circle it is impossible for someone like me to just let go of something.

I guess just murder that person then. All I'm reading is:

>I need help but I'm unwilling/"unable" to help myself

Ever try meditating? Give that a shot.


 No.43541

>>43540

yes. i realize that i sound super fucking edgy when i wrote that. i was just in a bad mental place.

never tried it no, got any tips?


 No.43543

>>43541

Sadly, not really. I'm very much a neophyte when it comes to meditation; however, the meditation superthread >>33148 would be a good place to start along with The Arcane Formulas, which can be found in the library.

There's info everywhere on fringe and elsewhere about it, but continual practice and honest effort are just as important.

Good luck with your troubles anon.


 No.43544

>>43541

Sadly, not really. I'm very much a neophyte when it comes to meditation; however, the meditation superthread >>33148 would be a good place to start along with The Arcane Formulas, which can be found in the library.

There's info everywhere on fringe and elsewhere about it, but continual practice and honest effort are just as important.

Good luck with your troubles anon.


 No.43547

>>43532

Accept the indigopill OP and become the most efficient demonic killing machine you can be. That's what I did, I gave into my hatred, and I don't regret it at all.


 No.43548

>>43532

>i just cant stop thinking about killing a very specific person. i go through the scenario over and over and over again to the point where ive even started to dream about it. i just cant escape from it.

You should take your obsession, change it a little, and you can easily cause your target to die from the very intense curse you are creating at the moment.


 No.43549

>>43541

>>>/edgy/ is a great board and you should check it out


 No.43556

>>43541

Meditation is a good entrance to all sorts of positive (or negative, if you choose that path) disciplines but can be hard for you at the start so try not to feel agitated or upset if you're being flooded with thoughts it's just what beginners get, our ancestors have been through this and yes every other person starting meditation gets this, "monkey mind".

For starter meditation the best entrance is Mindfulness meditation from the likes of Vipassana and that which is presented in the book Mindfulness in Plain English. This book is available free online http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe1-4.html.

After a month of meditating daily for 20mins you should feel some big differences occurring in your psyche as you are reprogramming your brain. Congratulations though if you succeed, you're on the path to something grand that the greatest men have trodden for thousands of years.

>>43549

If you're the "purple pill" posting above (or should I say an Anakin Skywalker impersonator) then that sounds extremely like the place for you to be, theres a reason its considered edgy and now these emotions build your hatred because you allow them. I hope you find a better path before being stuck in a cyclical karmic hell that mirrors your being stuck cyclically in these negative emotions because the more you profess about them the more they come about. You are cutting your wrist then cursing the blade friend. Find peace.


 No.43561

>>43556

Fuck off with your Stars Wars bullshit you subhuman. It's Indigopill not "Purple".

Fuck peace, fuck your New Age delusions, and your perception of negative emotions as undesirable. I absolutely am in love with hatred and I cultivate it all the time. Using that word "karma" too ain't gonna scare me off of my path.

This world, this universe, it is dominated by misery and the struggle to survive. All of your shit is just brainwashing to get the mass man to give up on power and domination. It's great for others; not for me though. I'm not dumb enough to pacify myself.


 No.43563

>>43556

Also I already post on >>>/edgy/


 No.43564

>>43532

That's literally how the last stages of my dark night of the soul were. If you're taking any antidepressants, especially Paroxetine, stop right now. For your own good. Homicidal urges are a common side effect of Paroxetine and some other ISRS.

If not, just try to survive and don't kill anybody. You will see light at the end of the tunnel, there's nobody that can help you right now, it's a process you MUST go through.

Also try meditation.


 No.43569

>>43564

this, simply endure

your alternative is embracing the basic emotions of hate and other edginess and letting them define you and take control of you, thus becoming another indigopill.

Going to /edgy/ would be the ez way out instead of taking control of your emotions but who needs to struggle when there's a nice little hugbox suited for your personal flavor of snowflake?


 No.43623

>>43543

>>43544

Shit, I didn't even realize I double posted.

check those doubles too.


 No.43629

>>43569

Easy path of least resistance full of those who name themselves "powerful" but when faced with a true believer, someone who has mastered every state of themselves completely and as of such are reborn, can't do much at all.

The power of the indigo pill lies in the lies that they tell themselves and that others tell themselves to avoid confronting themselves. Because these "indigo pills" become the masters of non-confrontation of their own emotions and their own truths they have power in the domain of those who also avoid confrontation.

They will never be true masters as they've never followed the first teaching, for any real change one must find it inwards and as of such their inner self is a mess which is why their external tools mimic destruction. They become more and more possessed, these entities have been allowed to completely enter their being and they are as lost as a homosexual albeit on a different plane but degenerate nonetheless.


 No.43635

File: 1434070169700.jpg (953.37 KB, 3600x3600, 1:1, image.jpg)

HAIL MAIDEN OF MURDER

HAIL QUEEN OF BLOOD

HAIL VICIOUS VIRGIN

HAIL DAUGHTER OF SLAUGHTER

HAIL GIRL OF GORE

HAIL THE GREAT MURDERESS

QUEEN OF THE KALI YUGA

LUST GODESS OF LACERATION

WE SING YOU PRAISE

I, IN MINE OWN NAME SWEAR TO YOU

THAT I SHALL MURDER AND SLAY FOR YOU

WHOMEVER THOU SPEAK TO SLAY

Hail Godess of Slaying, daughter of the warrior.

WE WELCOME OUR NEW BROTHER IN OUR DARK FAMILY


 No.43651

>>43569

You need to stop giving in to happiness and Good Feels, weakling. Hatred takes real dedication and skill to bring it to the levels required for curses.


 No.43652

>>43629

>herp derp I'm a retard who thinks that any expression of hatred or other negative emotions is uncontrolled rather than cultivated

You know how much hatred I would have without all the hard work I've put into cultivating it? Fuck all. It doesn't come naturally to me. Gloom, sadness, and fear are what came to me naturally and I transmuted them into hatred.


 No.43653

>>43629

>They will never be true masters as they've never followed the first teaching, for any real change one must find it inwards and as of such their inner self is a mess which is why their external tools mimic destruction. They become more and more possessed, these entities have been allowed to completely enter their being and they are as lost as a homosexual albeit on a different plane but degenerate nonetheless.

Whatever faggot, say that to my face in the astral and not in third density, we'll see who is a bitch then.


 No.43676

>>43651

>Hatred takes real dedication and skill to bring it to the levels required for curses.

Without a doubt, same can be applied to love for healing purposes which is why one should master emotional alchemy and access either emotion at will, thus having a broad array or powers.


 No.43708

File: 1434138887525.png (476.53 KB, 560x500, 28:25, Girls.png)

>>43653

>Whatever faggot, say that to my face in the astral and not in third density, we'll see who is a bitch then.


 No.43739

>>43532

Going to share a weird experience I had. I used to have really bizarre thoughts, things I just knew weren't my own. You know, the crazy stuff like wanting to slit your brothers neck for no reason or kill someone. I had this issue for years and couldn't understand it.

I think if you don't get it yourself, like you feel it's nonsensical and might not be you, it could be a spirit. Long story short, I had thoughts like this and asked it to leave. Once it did, I literally had no more of these crazy thoughts.

I think you actually need to tell the thoughts and the entity to leave. Be persistent and strong. Remember you have free will and basically no one but you has power over your life.

Meditation could help, like other anons said. If you feel like it gets too bad, definitely get some help with a doctor or a professional to talk to. No matter what, you're still in control of your mind, anon.


 No.43915

>>43532

First I can feel the anger in your post good job lol. Don't take it as insult if you do I'm sorry it wasn't meant that way. Try to forgive yourself and others. Don't look at the bad things and try to criticize them endlesly but figure out how you can help others. You have to either transmutate the hatred into love for others and help them in any way you can. The other option is to build on the hatred and learn how to use it to infuence people to serve others better. Hope this helps.


 No.43986

>>43739

>Doctors

>not a death sentence for the idiot dumb enough to trust them


 No.43987

>>43915

Most people that are told to "help others" are the ones that need to help themselves and would only be doing a lot of harm to everyone overall by stretching themselves thin trying to "help others" while they themselves got problems to fix in their own lives. It's people with no issues that are in a good position to help others.


 No.43990

>>43987

You are quite correct, MOST people are like this. However, those who are not are pure and know themselves completely and you compared to them are nothing. This is because those who try to serve others are for the most part trying to serve themselves so for the majority of the population any charity is given through ego or through wanting to show off or whatever other reason, they all tie back to ego. This is where you find these social justice warriors, those feminists, those with no lick of truth within them giving to organisations freely, because they pump up their pride. "Look how many charters my name is on, oh how lovely it is to see my name once more, how nice of a person I am". I'm very sorry for you if these are the only types of people you know in life, that doesn't mean that everyone is like that and those who are like that would never ever wish to work on themselves or look inwards so please do not compare someone who does to someone to such low calibre.

When someone who is pure gives he gives through pure heart and love, he gives not because he wishes anything in return and he does not plaster his name across what he has given, nor does he really need to see their reaction or given any glory from what he has given. This is the sweetest smell, that of love, the universe reciprocates in turn. All it takes it to be honest and truthful to yourself, and that can take years when you have some giant walls to crumble.

Love to you brother.

>>43986

>Killing others and harming those around you because your demonic entities possess you to do so

>not a death sentence for the idiot dumb enough to trust them


 No.43994

>>43990

>doctors

>having any capability to handle demonic entities

>implying they wouldn't just drug the OP to death and keep him in solitary confinement for the rest of his days


 No.44009

>>43532

JUST PLAY PLANETSIDE 2




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