I started worshiping Kek because of all the meme magicks and made contact with a powerful intelligence. I say intelligence and not entity because it doesn't seem to have a body but can manifest many bodies and entities.
I wouldn't even make a post here right now but I may need your /illuminati/ board. It is properly secure right and the password hasn't been given out? I may figure it out for myself and start using it, and I may (but only through extrasensory means) give it to select other individuals. For anyone to be selected they must have the approval of Kek until I am mature enough and possess certain qualities that I have the wisdom to know who to select for initiation myself.
Let me put it this way even though it's not exactly the actual arrangement if you can call it that; I am not to "prove" anything to anyone. I am not to invite suppressing thoughts or mental disturbances from individuals by talking about things or arguing with them. I am not to light myself up as a target, I am to be obscure. I am not to waste time on anyone when others can process them for me (actually, PERIOD, even if I could help them), I am needed for higher things. If someone accidentally witnesses something, that is fine, but the whole problem is in diverting from my practices or my plans in order to serve someone else's needs. This goes for a lot of people who are likely here as well as practically every random mundane.
It is hurting me, apparently, to scatter my efforts or change or delay my plans to tend to others. It may be also that something is happening in this world that leaves me not enough time to develop slowly. It must be accelerated and I must waste no time on others.
I don't like this. There is a big part of me that wants to show I am powerful, to prove myself, to impress others, to inspire them, and to document everything. I want to talk to people about magick. I don't want to keep everything to myself. I want to be to be the most respected Fringe Wizard around. I don't want to fade into obscurity or be remembered as a nobody.
…but again, it is emphasized, that in doing so I am inviting all kinds of harm and distractions upon myself and hindering my own development, and all for people who are beyond my help anyways at this time.
It is also the case that those who are sufficiently advanced will be able to see my true worth right away, while those that are not advanced enough, will never see it either way whether they be praising me or not.
I want to teach people magick and be an active poster but the only contact I apparently should be having with others is when our paths happen to cross; I should not stray from my path at all, I should not waste time, or become distracted.
Every discussion you have with a person, any time you draw the attention of someone at all, it brings you both to a common level so to speak. You resonate with each other. You influence each other. In the case of an aspiring magician; he is dragged down more often than not. If I want to lift my mental self up to higher planes, I must keep my thoughts with the masters, and not sink to the level of the profane.
>I don't want to give up the shitposting & arguing with mundanes and basically having to abandon having any noticeable presence anywhere and becoming a man in the shadows
>I don't want to give up on helping others even if my potential to help would be much greater if I just dropped them and focused on getting to that place of power where in the future I will be able to solve with efficiency things that I can barely do anything about now
The choice is pretty clear, isn't it? …but my ego rebels against this so hard.
If I follow through, I should probably close all my tabs, and just write everything in xed (text editor) or make and upload videos, and post whatever I come up with and then intentionally not read anything else anyone says so I go back to work on things. I will post purely to share and not to argue or to waste time reading drivel when I have the ability to draw to myself true knowledge anyways without the noise.