Alright 8ch. im drunk and it's still early morning, so i'll cut to the chase.
basically, I know that there is something - something - in my past that is stopping me from reaching my full powerlevel. and I also know that it is somehow connected to my mother.
here's where the problem comes in. My mother refused to even acknowledge that she HAS a past, including whatever bad shit in the past happened to me. I have a few suspicions of why this might be the case, but in any case those are completely irrelevant. The point is, so long as my mother continues to avoid her own demons and act like everything between me and her, within herself, and within the world at large are fine and dandy - nothing is ever going to change. And if they don't change, I know that these secrets are going to destroy us. Frankly, I'm not in the mood for being destoyed.
My question is then this - what the fuck do I do? How do I get my mother to face whatever it is that's causing her to be deluded, when a huge part of it has to do with something involving me? I've tried, so many times before and in so many different ways - to try and get her to open up, but because it's connected to me it's like Ronald McDonald telling someone not to eat hamburgers - they just brush it off. I'm absolutely at a loss. I've even contemplated just locking her in a room and screaming abuse at her until she finally breaks and admits to WHATEVER it is, but in my heart I know that won't work.
What the hell do I do?? The only person she's ever listened to is her father, and now he's comatose in a retirement home. She doesn't listen to my dad, she doesn't listen to her family, she fucking ignores EVERYONE and goes on about laughing and pretending like her whole world isn't in flames.
I'm pretty pissed, not going to lie. The idea of me having demons consume my soul because someone else couldn't face theirs bothers me a great deal.
If there's any savvy motherfucker sages reading this, please drop me some life bombs. A young wizard could use your help.